that’s what happened with me. I had a complete nervous breakdown. I was treating people horribly. Yeah, and I look back at it now and I understand why, it was the symptoms of PTSD. Symptoms of PTSD are reckless behavior, depression, thinking people are after you trying to harm you. That you know, that’s just a few of the symptoms. I didn’t know I had PTSD at the time. That’s what made it even more devastating, but I had a complete nervous breakdown. I retreated to my homestead here. I live on five acres out in the country. And I couldn’t do anything but work the soil for a year. That’s all I did. I just worked the soil I had a young family to support. But I was just a complete mess and looking back at it, it was a blessing for me because I think without that happening, I never would have met Mary Magdalene consciously met her. I met her when I was a child of seven years old. I didn’t know it at the time and but your angels, I get the question a lot. Well, how do your angels appear to you and your angels appear to you in accordance of where you’re at, mentally, and emotionally at the time. So, for example, when Mary Magdalene first came to me, I was seven years old. We were returning from vacation in Arizona. And we always went to a side beach before coming home from the summer we would take a side trip. And this year my parents decided to go to new Gallus Arizona. And for me, as a seven-year-old, no Gallus was cool because right across the border, there was a town called Nogales Mexico and I just thought that was cool. But anyway, we pulled in the Nogales late at night. went straight to bed. And the next morning, my two brothers and my parents were up already getting ready to walk to breakfast, I was laying in bed on my back. And this wave of peace entered my crowd on my head swept through by body and out my feet. At the time, I didn’t know what it was. But it felt good. So, I wasn’t afraid. But, you know, well, maybe it’s kind of weird. I don’t want to tell anybody about it. Right? So, but anyway, eventually I got out of bed, well, we’re walking to breakfast, and we’re waiting on the street corner for the light to turn. So, we cross the street. And it happened again to me. Now, I know it was a wave of grace. And it was Mary Magdalene, because she told me, and that’s how your angels work, they’ll, create these events, like this event in Nogales for me. So later in my life, when I’m actually dealing with my ages consciously, and the doubts start coming in. They have that to go back to say, you know, stop doubting that was me in Nogales. And they have very unique ways of doing that.

 

Joseph Holmes 06:25

But anyway, that’s what happened. I had a complete nervous breakdown on I couldn’t work for the entire year. I just work the soil. And then I had went to a workshop, they helped me put some perspective on what had happened to me. And at this workshop was a deep breathing workshop but yeah, it was more than that. But it lasted for a week. And it started on a on a Saturday. And that Wednesday, we had a deep breathing session at night. With the lights out, there was about 10 or 12 of us lying on the floor. And during the session, I opened my eyes, and I saw above me, just the outline of a pair of eyes. And I thought there were my mothers who had died a couple of years earlier, but I couldn’t tell for sure. But I just assumed they were I mean, who else would be appearing to me, right. But anyway, eventually, the facilitator announced that, you know, in 10 minutes, we’re going to turn the lights on. So, everybody start, you know, normalize your breathing. And sit up. At that time, the eyes expanded. And it was Mother Mary. And for those 10 minutes, she just made me and beams of gold and white light. And I didn’t know what to make of it. I mean, you know, I knew it was good, it must be a blessing, right. And then, at the end of the 10 minutes, she was gone. Well, two days later. I have this out of body experience. And I’m taking into the light reaches. And a few years later, in 1988, I had this experience with the white light, which everybody was talking about the time the saying it was the, you know, the ultimate and spiritual experiences while I was in this bubble of white light for a week, and where I couldn’t eat any solid food. And I gradually came out of it. But for that as reference when I’m in these light regions, those light regions, for lack of a better term made that white light, pale in comparison. And we were down I had a guide with me, we were traveling and traveling. And then we came where we saw this light out a distance, which I didn’t know. I just thought it was a light. I later found out it was the light Mary Magdalene and the guy told me we can’t go there. And I said, well, why I want to go there. He said, no, you’ll combust. You can’t handle that kind of energy. So, I came back into my body and for five solid months. I was in this way. I explained this to a Catholic one time, and he said Oh, you are in a state of rapture. So, I thought, okay, that’s a good word. I was in the state of rapture for five solid months, I couldn’t work. I’d be in the supermarket. And just out of nowhere without warning. I just started giggling and laughing and people would stop and look at me. I mean, this was loud, you know, down the aisle, giggling. So, I was in this state of rapture for five months. And then I came out of it. You know, the people might think, well, gee, what a blessing. Yes, it’s a blessing. But when you come out of these states, you have to deal with the mundane world. And that can be very frustrating. And, but anyway, I came out, and a few years later, I swore off any more deep breathing, because, you know, being in these states of rapture, and then having to come out and deal with money. You know, I just didn’t want to do that anymore. But a few years later, somebody said, well, you know, there’s a deep breathing workshop at the mission. San Louis re, and Oceanside, California. That’s one of the 21 original California missions. It’s one of the most beautiful ones. And it’s associated with married with a Mother Mary that Mary Magdalene’s mother married, I thought, well, you know, if I take this workshop, maybe I could have a vision of Mother Mary again. And that’s why I took it. So, I was closing up my I’m also a

 

Joseph Holmes 11:19

martial arts. So, Sensei, I was closing up my dojo, and I announced it was a Friday announced to my class, no classes tomorrow, I’m going to be taking a workshop, that’s always so I’m locking up, I thought everybody was gone. I was locking up and one of the mothers came up to me from the parking lot and said, well, why are you taking the workshop? And I swear it without thinking out of my mouth came to meet Mary Magdalene. So, I’m driving home and I’m thinking, no, why did I say Mary back then? I have no interest in Mary Magdalene. I’ve taken this workshop. So hopefully, I can be Mother Mary again. So, I just thought that was a hard, you know, so anyway, the next morning, at eight in the morning, the facilitator says, Okay, we’re going to do some deep breathing. And you know, I’m thinking, Oh, no, oh, no, no. If I’m going to meet Mary Magdalene, or if I’m going to meet mother, Mary, it’s got to be like it was before at night with the lights out. Dark Room. So, I’m thinking this is not going to work. But you know, I’m not going to interrupt the session. So, I go ahead, and he said, and we’re gonna do it sitting in the chairs. And I think, oh, no, this is by anyway, I get in the chair, we start to breathe. And in. There’s this at the church, there’s this big open door without any doors. And, you know, Mother Mary pops her head around the corner. And I see her as she comes up in front of me, and she’s got Mary Magdalene with her, and they’re both wearing these long black capes, which I have no idea why they’re wearing black capes, which plays into my doubts later on, but at the time, I had no idea and they start circling me giggling and laughing just kind of having fun and then Mother Mary says I want you to lie on the floor. Hello, I’m thinking I can’t lie on the floor for everybody’s on the chairs. At that moment, the facilitator says everyone to the floor. So, I lied on the floor with my head by Mary in by Mother Mary’s lap, and Mary Magdalene is hovering above me as she enters my body. And that’s when she healed me of my childhood molestation. Before that time, I never spoke. I never told anyone about my molestation. And after that, and your listeners can appreciate this. After that. I started talking about them, telling people about them, writing about them, giving interviews about them about my molestations. And that’s a significant part of your healing is to be start talking about it. And so, and that was around I think, 2000 maybe 2005 or something. And then in December 2012, Mary Magdalene woke me up at two in the morning, asked me to sit up my desk for the pennant pattern. And she started dictating quadtree import request for invoices for stanza poems. Yeah, she’s been doing that every night since 2012. To this day, this morning chance. And through her spiritual porridge tree, and the book we’re taught, we’re going to be talking discussing today is my, the power of angel’s volume three. And the first part of the book are my, my angel story, some of my agent stories, to help people start sharing their Angel stories, I believe billions of people have their own Angel stories. They’re just intimidated to share them because they’re, you know, people gonna think they’re so crazy. And you know, the Catholics, the Catholics have a good term for those kinds of people. They’re called mystics and saints. So, when you start, when you start sharing your stories, you’re in good company.

 

Joseph Holmes 16:02

And, but that as you share your stories, and you know, for the people, for people who say, well, I, I can’t remember, or I don’t have any Angel stories, then use other people’s, just start talking about Angel stories, because that will lay the groundwork for your healing to begin. And it also helps you discover your life purpose. And then I call this the trinity of creating the life from a menu slipping is joy, love, and success.

 

Dr. Manon 16:33

But before you go there, I just ask you a few questions of what you’ve already shared. So, I find it it’s interesting that I mean, for you it was black and white, no pun intended, but it was clear, right? That it was like a true visitation, you know. I’m thinking like, because you mentioned that the poems that are being downloaded to you from Magdalena. I can’t say the word Magda mela, I can’t, Say it again.

 

Joseph Holmes 17:13

Well, I call her Maggie.

 

Dr. Manon 17:15

 Maggie, that’s easier.

 

Joseph Holmes 17:16

I call her Maggie as a nickname as opposed to Mother Mary.

 

Manon Bolliger 17:20

I can totally do that. Okay. But they’re also non secular and non-religious. And I had a, an experience when I was quite young, I was traveling. And I was actually held at gunpoint for what would be a rape, I was alone in a room. Wow, somebody was very, very intense. But I remember so clearly, this, this incredible light that came through the window, but it went beyond the window. And it was like, because, of course, I was 15. So I was, you know, panicked, I was aware there was a gun, you know, the trauma, all of this, but it was very, very traumatic. But this light that was sort of yellow, white was so strong, that I just felt like I turned around, I looked in the mirror, and I just saw this, this beautiful person, which was me, just looking there with this light. And I just knew that I could do whatever I needed to do. To get out there alive. It was like, there was there was like, no doubt about the experience.

 

Manon Bolliger 18:48

And or about the power of this. But then later, as you’re, you know, your mind goes into…

 

Joseph Holmes 18:56

Your ego. Edging God out.

 

Dr. Manon 19:01

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I was like, well, how did you know? How is that? How do I know that it’s true is this and then, you know, I look at organized religion, and I look at all the things that have gone wrong, as well? And, you know, the organized crime that some of these institutions are and I was like, well, I don’t really want to have anything to do with that. And so

 

Commercial Break 19:34

Hi, I’m Dr. Manon, Bolliger. Shea and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for watching these podcasts. If you haven’t subscribed, please do. Also, feel free to leave comments and like it. This way more people get to find out about this work and about other choices for health. So, I think it’s really important that that we all share this information, I have a free gift to you. It’s a seven-sequence email that has tips for every day, and a little insight about how to live your life when it comes to health. And it’s very much built on how I managed to overcome stage four cancer and what it took. So, I, I would love you to have this. And thank you once again, for listening to these podcasts.

 

Dr. Manon 20:35

 And so, it took me quite a while to, to connect to this spiritual component as a part of me, like that is just it is that’s all and, and it’s amazing how you mean, these things. You know, at one point, it’s only when I was later much later on. I had stage four cancer and I didn’t want to go ahead with the procedures that were suggested for me. And that’s when I had that second moment where I went. This, it’s not my time. And so, I’d say I’m gonna leave, I’m gonna step out of this, you know, oncology ward, and I am. I’m finding another way. And again, I had that, that strength and that clarity. So, I haven’t seen the angels per se. But it feels like there is something else and that that’s always sort of stayed with me as I can’t deny that.

 

Joseph Holmes 21:41

Yeah, I think you’ll get more answers later on. You know, for example, you know, that feeling that grace that went through me at age seven. That was just maybe three years ago now that Maggie explained what that was. And she did that because I was going through a period of doubt. doubting if these poems are really coming from her. So, they’ll set you up like that. So later, they have something to work with, when you when you start doubting something. And that’s what these poems started coming in December 2012. And when she woke me up, and I started taking it, I asked her, I said, do you mind if I call you Maggie? I know Maggie’s not a good name for Magdalena. But, you know, and next to Melissa. Maggie is one of my favorite names. And she said, of course, you can call me Maggie. So, at the time, we were calling these notes, love notes from Maggie. And then in April, so just a few months later, I started having real doubts. Right. Did this really happen? Was it in angel was it really Mary Magdalene, and so on? Right? And so, I, I made it the man. One morning, I said, I want proof. I want proof. I want proof that these are really coming from you. So, I don’t want anything nagelas. You know, like a hazy this or that I said, I want something that nobody can argue. And so, a day went by nothing happened. Her poetry kept coming. A week went by nothing happened except the poetry a month went by nothing happened except the poetry every night. So, I eventually forgot about it, my demand, and then July. So, April may change at three months later, she says, I want you to start publishing these. And so, I thought, okay, if I’m going to publish these, maybe I should get some reviews. And I didn’t want to go to my friends because they were just gonna be nice. You know, I wanted some honest reviews. So I went to this website that has 1000s of people on it. They provide different services like voiceover, you know, video editing, you know, just different services. And I thought, God, this would take me forever. So, I’m very visual. So, I just started going through the people’s photographs real quick. And I said, If I see somebody that resonates with me, I’ll stop. So, I’ve gone through these photos, and I see this picture of this woman. And I stopped and I looked down and her name is Angelina, and she provided the service but not rave reviews with anything. Maggie Mary Magdalene. Told me send her an email. So, I sent her an email. And I didn’t tell her anything except I have some poems that’s all I said, I have some poems. I’ll pay you for your time to read them. If you feel like giving me a review, that’d be great. I won’t pay you for the review, I’ll pay you for your time. You don’t have to give me a review. Good or bad. I just liked an honest review. And she writes back, and we said so well, no, that’s not the service I provide. So, you would think I would move on, but Maggie says No, stay with her. So, we went back and forth for two or three days. And finally, just out I think exasperation, she writes back and says, Brian, send me some poems. So, this time when I sent her the poems, I tell her the story of Mary Magdalene, me calling her Maggie. Suddenly, next day, the next morning, I get an email from her, says, Joseph, I have to tell you this. I love these poems. But I have to tell you this and you’re not going to believe me. So, I’ll send you proof. Everybody knows me as Angelina today. But when I was born, in Greece, my mother wanted to name me, Mary Magdalene. And my first half again, my name is Mary Magdalene.

 

Joseph Holmes 26:37

And she said, growing up one day, one of my best friends called me Maggie. And I loved it. From that point on. Only my best friends would call me Maggie. And I sat down. No, no, no, wait. Maggie’s not a nickname for Magdalene is? She said no. But one of my friends call me Maggie. I loved it and it stuck. So, and then the next morning, I get a poem, I guess, you know as norm. Poetry for Marr Magdalene. She writes this, she says are Joseph when things like this happen, is magical and fun. Angelina Magdalena to Maggie, who would have thought from across the sea. And we’d look alike. So run my deer and jump insane that when you look at her, you’re seeing me. Isn’t that I mean, I still get shivers down my spine when I relate this. But so here was the burning bush, I had this doubt, and this and she just boom sledgehammer over the head, right? Here it is stop doubting. But what I want to emphasize to your listeners, is that even with this kind of a burning bush, you would think that I would never doubt again. But that’s not how ego works. Ego is constantly wanting to keep you out of your heart out of following your bliss, and in your head where all the chatter is right. And so that’s what now whenever it comes out, I don’t have to say anything, she just nipped it in the bud with something. So yeah, and then then, after I got the email from her, I looked down at her name. Angelina. I thought, oh my god, I broke it. It’s Angel. Ina, Angel. She, I mean, just amazing. And if once your listeners start sharing their Angel stories, these kinds of things begin to happen. But you have to be a host one time a podcast host once asked me why you Why did Mary Magdalene that choose you? But I said and no one had asked me that before is and so I never actually thought about it. So right there on the spot. I thought well, you know, I don’t think she it was a matter of choosing me. I think it was a matter of me being receptive.

 

Dr. Manon 29:33

Right. Yeah. No. And I that is so key. You know, it’s really about listening to the signs. You know.

 

Joseph Holmes 29:42

Listening to your heart.

 

Dr. Manon 29:44

Yeah.

 

Joseph Holmes 29:44

And if you stay in your head where ego wants to keep you it’s just endless chatter. Endless mindless chatter all day long. 24 seven. So how do you deal with that? Very important. So, your listeners know how do you deal with that? Because that chatter is going on all the time, I used to fight it. And you know, when you fight ego, you’re always lose. So, I just, it just got to the point where said, you know, I’m just because I make friends with my ego. So now when the chatter starts taking over, I just stop, and I say, thank you, ego, for reminding me to drop back into my heart, so now ego’s my friend. Any time it acts up. And ego appears in different ways as chatter, as anger as jealousy as envy. You know, it appears in many different disguises. But whenever it does, I just stop, I say, thank you for reminding me to drop it to my heart. And so, I stopped fighting. And now it’s my friend, and they help me stay connected to my angles.

 

Dr. Manon 30:59

So, what is it now that you do you were starting to talk about this triangle? And then I interrupted you to get clarification. But let’s, why don’t you tell us a little bit more about the triangle.

 

Joseph Holmes 31:16

Trinity of creating the life full of meanings that because joy, love, and sickness. I think that’s what everybody wants. And so, the first part of the Trinity is to begin to share your angel stories. And, you know, if people are intimidated, to share their stories, they can send their story to me, joseph@jmmlove.com. And in complete confidence. If they feel safe to start sharing them. With someone like me, I’m very welcome to receive their emails. But if they don’t have Angel stores, or they can’t remember right now, just start sharing other people’s Angel stories. And then, but once you start, once you start getting comfortable, that there are angels. And you know, for people who don’t believe in angels can just listen to your heart. Listen to your intuition, put whatever name you want on it. I just call them angels, because I’ve seen them but anyway, once you start sharing Angel stories that will kind of lay the groundwork to start exploring or start getting on your healing journey. And that is unique for everybody. And also, it helps you to start discovering what your gift is to give to the world and then start, start sharing that gift, and then dealing with the doubts and fears will always come up. And so, the first part of the book, The Power of Angels, volume three, the first part is my angel stories, to help encourage people to start sharing theirs. And the second and third parts. Or the second part of the book is Maggie’s spiritual poetry, which helps your readers deal with the second part of the Trinity, beginning the healing journey. discovering what your gift is, and then sharing the gift and dealing with the doubts and fears. You know, I believe everything in nature is simple. And that’s why Maggie comes to me in a spiritual sense, and not encumbered by the dogma and doctrine of organized religion. You know, there’s some beautiful things and organized religions. But there’s a lot of dogma and doctrine that just weighs you down.

 

Dr. Manon 33:51

It’s like healing you know; it doesn’t need the entire pharmacopoeia.

 

Joseph Holmes 33:56

Right can be very simple. It can be very simple. Everything in nature is simple. And there’s simple scripture. And one simple scripture is that your gift will make room for you. And bring you into the company of extraordinary right your gift it doesn’t say your education. It doesn’t say your passion will make them for you. It doesn’t say your It doesn’t say that. That program you saw on you saw on an infomercial for $99.99 is going to make room for it says your gift. And what Wayne Dyer says is to surrender to your gift. And once you truly surrender, you’re gonna think I’m okay I surrendered. But no, when you truly surrender to gift a vacuum is created and source energy rushes in to fill that vacuum and that’s when you feel a wind at your back. And all anxiety, depression, all that stuff starts to melt away. All right, but you have to truly surrender to it. That’s a process. At first you think you’ve surrendered but you know you haven’t because a doubt pops up. Right? That’s okay. Is thank you for reminding me to get back into heart and just keep, keep what I call walking your road to Rome, following your bliss. Every memory ego, bane. job is to keep you out of your heart, from following your bliss, right. And when you follow your bliss, you create a life full of meanings that brings joy, love, and success. But you have to dare you have to dare to get on the road to Rome. You have to dare to start walking to start following your bliss. And that’s scary. But just know. So, your listeners know, everybody. Everybody that has the courage to follow the bliss have doubts and fears to deal with. And just part of it.

 

Dr. Manon 36:19

Absolutely, and it’s a good point because it’s not this or that. It’s all encompassing, but you allow it and anyway, I’m gonna leave it on these last words that you shared, because they were very powerful. And I just want to thank you so much for being on the show.

 

Joseph Holmes 36:36

Thank you. I appreciate what you’re doing. You’re a great service to people.

 

Dr. Manon 36:42

Thank you.

 

Dr M (Manon Bolliger), ND

Thank you for joining us. For more information, go to DrManonBolliger.com.