How to Heal Trauma with Multiple Modalities with Alexa Rae Schiefer on The Healers Café with Manon Bolliger

working in an area where I really was on, I felt like I had this higher power of needing to help women heal. And I felt really stuck after you know, like 15 years working in the field, because I just didn’t have the flexibility to actually help people evolve and have life lasting changes in their life. So long story short, I quit my career, the toxicity that comes with healthcare, all that stuff, and hopped on board my own healing practice to help women really take changes and actually make changes in their life to actually live a life where they feel connected to their authenticity, where they feel like I can show up as I am as an individual proudly and unapologetically. So that’s sort of a long stint of that.

 

Manon Bolliger 03:35

Okay, well, I think we definitely break it down a little bit to understand the evolution of you. So, what is it in the first milieu you were in for, like 15 years that you felt didn’t allow you as a woman to be authentic? Let’s start maybe by that?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 04:02

Sure. So, I definitely come from the lens of mental health, of course. And so, for me, in the mental health world, within the healthcare system, there’s the diagnostical manual, the DSM five, it’s at five now, but that really dictates people’s illnesses in regards to mental health. And number one, that book was written by a bunch of white men up in an office who probably have never experienced mental illness themselves. And so that really started to become prominent to me in my experience when working in there. And I also really found that if the modality, the therapy modality or the system was not working for the person, that the healthcare system was essentially blaming that person. Oh, you’re just too unwell. You’re just too crazy, quote, unquote, for this to actually work and they never would take responsibility or accountability for what they did wrong that really did not sit well with me as an individual,

 

Manon Bolliger 05:02

Wow, okay, yeah, that I mean that I resonate with. I actually wrote a book “What Patients Don’t Say If Doctors Don’t Ask”, but it’s really the ingrained errors of the medical approach that labels people, that’s the diagnostics, more based on the drugs available that they kind of, you know, peddle, basically, rather than getting to the core of what is affecting this human being on all levels, right. So, I totally see the limitation of that. Well, you as a woman in that milieu, being your authentic self, is that…did you try? Or did the rest of it come later? Like, where you realize that you were squashed? Or you couldn’t? Or what was what was going on?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 06:03

I think for me, like, in my career, I do. I don’t want to discredit everything that I experienced. You know, I think I’d learned a lot obviously, I started in forensic psychiatry, meaning that I work with people who had criminal offenses and a mental illness at the same time. And so being a woman in that setting, from my, from my own life experience as a woman having a lot of sexual trauma, you know, a really intense childhood of instability, emotional instability. That was like a, almost like a trauma bond that I had with my career as a woman. Yeah. And so, I spent years in that setting, and then I transitioned out, and then I eventually ended up in leadership. And this is when my eyes opened up. This is where I was like, I am in leadership, I should be at the forefront of changing I was in a clinical education position, trying to bring forefront of the issues that we should be facing. And yet I was just stomped on over and over and over again, no, we can’t disclose that information. You know, we can’t take responsibility for that. You know, it was just really intense for me, and I’m a woman who really values authenticity, obviously, but being able to be who you are as a person in your workplace, you know, especially in health care, especially in mental health. And that was just not allowed at all, you know, and so it really, it really made me uncomfortable, seriously.

 

Manon Bolliger 07:32

Yeah. Well, it’s interesting, because, you know, I mean, there’s definitely at least two ways of looking at, you know, what our role as we become aware of what’s going on, you can either fight within the system, or decide to create something parallel, and, come from the positive, this is what we believe, and this is what really should be. Rather than fight with these archaic medical industrial complex finance, to the hilt with special interest groups that back each other. And, you know, where doctors end up just being drug peddlers without meaning to be right, and just not knowing anything else. You know, I mean, if you look at the evolution since the Flexner, report, like, there are no other choices.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 08:30

Apparently. Yeah

 

Manon Bolliger 08:31

You know, so it’s very hard to create. And I think that’s, when I hear the word authenticity, I hear the word creation. The ability to create something. Okay, so let’s go on with your story.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 08:44

Um, I have, I do want to say one thing, and I had a patient years ago, this is when I was in forensics. And they said to me, you know, living with it, I tell people all the time, it’s truly powerful for me. Living with a mental illness is like living in the bottom of a very deep, dark scene, you’re always trying to find your way to the surface. And, this person said, you know, I wish that the healthcare system was the type of system where they would jump out of a boat, swim to the bottom of the sea, grab your hand and guide you up to the surface. He said, unfortunately, it’s not that way they sit in the boat, they feed you lures like medication to superficially bring you to the surface. So, you have no idea how you got there, it won’t last forever, because once you let go of that, you will go back down to the bottom. You know, and it’s a true representation of the health care system like you’re saying, you know, is the medication at the forefront, especially mental illness, it’s like, I talked to someone who were like, Oh, I’m on seven or eight medications for anxiety. I said, have you ever actually addressed the root of it, or they know they’ve never addressed it with me and I’m like, that is not okay. I just want to say that I think it’s a rant, but I do want to say that’s really important piece to listen to.

 

Manon Bolliger 09:54

No and I agree, and I think you know, rant or not, it’s, it’s really a truth that when you are authentic and you’re real, and you’re actually dealing with real people, this is the major complaint, you know, when they realize that they’re still victims. And there, it’s very hard when you’re dependent on a system to find your empowerment.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 10:24

Absolutely. Yeah.

 

Manon Bolliger 10:25

 It’s like, Yeah, I’m looking at your swimming analogy or the boat, it’s, you know, you kind of know your hooks are there. But if you let go of this, you’re just gonna go back now. Yeah, you know, cuz, yeah, yeah, really been shown another way. But is it like…so how do people shift do you think like, we all?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 10:49

I don’t know, I don’t know the answer. I have been asking myself that question, you know, and so to use to some backstory to my story is that I ended up I was in leadership, I was in the clinical education department, and I was frustrated, it was coupled with me becoming extremely unwell. Overload, you know, I was reactivated in my trauma. And I was working in a mental health field not being supported by my employer on something that they should be supporting me, like, even example would be like, there’s $500, for you to put towards your mental health, like, psychologists, whatever, that doesn’t do anything. You know. And so that’s just a prime example. But anyway, so it took me getting very unwell to being essentially forced to take time off and be in my own healing journey for people to say like, this isn’t a healthy place to work at. And I know, like, for time and time before that I was trying to…I met with mentors at work, like how do we fix this? And it was really comes down to leadership at the top. And I think that the people who are at the top of leadership’s of corporations, which, unfortunately, is what healthcare is, is the type of personalities that are up there are not the personas that are conducive to comprehending what it means to be real, if that makes sense.

 

Manon Bolliger 12:17

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it’s really not in their ethos. No, it isn’t necessary in…I think that, you know, it’s just like, the idea that the body can heal, right, or that we have innate capacities, right? Right now, you know, you would not even know that having an immune system was possibly helpful. Going about it. It’s like, you know, so it’s, it’s really not about relationships, relationships with others or relationship with yourself. It’s almost like it’s a relationship to a system that has a program.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 13:06

Yeah.

 

Manon Bolliger 13:06

You lose yourself.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 13:07

I’m sorry, my dogs, I apologize. I’m so sorry. Yeah, I think that’s what happened to me is that I literally lost myself in a system, like I was like, okay, I have to retrain myself to I have to change who I am if I want to make it in this world. That’s what it really came down to for me. And the deeper I got into that, the more unwell I became, and the more I was like, I was really like shaming myself. I’m the problem here. You know, I’m the one that is at fault here. And then it took a lot of space away from that place, and a lot of people saying it’s not you for me to actually get that.

 

Manon Bolliger 14:01

Right. So, let’s take you to the present now. How is it that you are helping people? What is it that you’re offering? What do you do? What’s, what happened?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 14:14

Yeah, sure. So, I, you know, I call myself an authenticity healer. And I’ve sort of been it’s been about a year and a half, I’ve been in this role of being an entrepreneur, which is a roller coaster itself. And I really have resonated with the fact that I am a self, I call myself a self-love guru, as well as a trauma coach. And so those things I truly believe are what are in alignment with someone missing authenticity. And so, I take because I have so many certifications and different things, but I truly don’t think that one size fits all. And so, I take modalities and evidence based modalities and I couple those with things that you really can’t use in the healthcare system. You know, let’s say crystals or let’s say, you know, somatic experiencing in the body and using different modalities and coupling them for exactly what that person needs. Because I think the healthcare system is very cookie cutter. And so, for me, I want it to be customized. I want to help women, meet them where they are. And the big thing that I truly do is I help women become their own self healer and give them the capacity to recreate the story of who they think they are on this earth. Because we’ve all have these stories of who we were told to be. Whether that was modeling, whether that was trauma, whatever shifted you into the person you are, if you’re living with learned patterns that aren’t serving you. So many people think that that’s the way it is, I’m stuck, you know, I take medication for anxiety, and that’s just you know, what I have to do, but there’s a totally different world out there, that I have used my own life to have my own self healer, to really see like, I can change and be whoever I want on this planet. It just takes a bit of work to get there in especially in the society that we live in today, you know.

 

Manon Bolliger 16:14

Okay. Yeah. So, let’s see what I had so many questions for you. I have to break it up…well, actually one of the transitions, I think it would be interesting, it’s unrelated to what you do specifically, but often when, when we want to get a message out, you know, like now that I’m deregistered, I need to change the way that I can help people and take off my doctor hat. And I realized too, that most of the time, I was really more the type of physician that would educate and empower. And, you know, really, if you stick with that, you’re good to go. I just can’t prescribe. And it’s true.

 

Commercial Break 17:04

Manon Bolliger here, and I want to thank you for taking actionable steps towards engaging your healing journey, and helping others discover their path by watching, sharing, subscribing, and reviewing these podcasts. Every review and share helps spread the word these different perspectives and choices and options for healing. And to thank you, I’d like to invite you to sign up to my free seven sequence email tips on health and healing for everyday life. You can go to healerscafe.com tips, thanks so much.

 

Manon Bolliger 17:46

And you also can do some of the lab tests that I might want to do, or, you know, you have to refer but that, you know, one refers it’s not the end of the world. But one of the hardest things is the entrepreneurship piece is realizing, is getting all that together. And I thought maybe you wonder how does that work for you with authenticity, because for me, I feel like there’s sort of mixed messengers or that I’m giving myself about this, which is, in all stuff that is probably unconscious, and you know, that one can deal with, even in therapy? I do, I could probably resolve it. But how are you looking at all this? Go out in the world and say what you do? And how is that for you?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 18:42

You know, and I think for me, it evolves more and more, the more I sit into this role, in my opinion, I think that I’ve always really been a person that sort of, is outside of the box, you know, I’ve always been a person that’s a bit different, you would say, than other people. And so, I think, even before I was in this role, I was, you know, present on let’s say, social media, that’s a big part of my mind job as an entrepreneurs, like present myself in a way that empowers women to show up as themselves, you know. And I think it is really hard because it’s an extremely vulnerable thing to do is to show up as myself in all of the context that comes with putting yourself out there, but I think that the more I get comfortable with the role that I’m in, the more that I lean into the ability for me to show up as I am and you know, I will. I don’t show all my personal life, but I’m pretty candid and the more I show because I truly believe like if I’m going to be out there and saying to women, you know, be yourself, be authentic, be real, and I’m not going to do that. I don’t think that’s authentic at all. And I know there’s so many people out there portraying themselves as someone who is truly authentic, but it’s not actually you know? An example would be like, on my Instagram, I will, you know, I will share non highlight reel aspects of my life. You know, I struggle with fertility, I’m having a bad day, you know really showing people that just because I’m on the side of being a healer does not mean I’m better than you, it does not mean that I am up here and you’re down here. I think that’s so old school, you know, we are all human beings. And I think that’s the big part of why women are drawn to me is that I am a real person, you know.

 

Manon Bolliger 20:34

But because this thing that I just had this discussion, actually, it’s funny. But it’s like, just be yourself on social media. And I’m like, I’m not really a social media person. I don’t Yeah. You know, I don’t even like what do I say, you know, it’s not afraid to hide anything. It’s just, you know, come join me today, I’m doing podcasts or I’m doing whatever you know, yes, I bath first thing in the morning, and, you know, you hang out with me, but it’s like, really? That’s not who I am like, Yeah, I mean, if you showed up, no problem, you know, I am more, but I’m not. And they, you know, they always say what makes you vulnerable, but it’s like, I feel like it makes me false. Because I’m not worried about my vulnerability. It’s like, hey, we’re often through that you find things about yourself. I mean, I have no problem being vulnerable. But this is, I’m really struggling with this whole part.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 21:44

Yeah, social media is really it is an odd place. I totally agree. And I’m not the most, I’m not the best at it, either. I’m very introverted. And I also think to myself, how do people just come on to social media, and they’re just so funny all the time. You know, and that’s not me. But I think it’s a matter of like, you know, finding…I truly believe that any entrepreneur has a place and the people that are supposed to connect with that person will meet them. That’s my opinion

 

Manon Bolliger 22:12

One way or another one

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 22:14

Yeah, one way or another, like social media isn’t the end all be all, just sadly, if you’re an entrepreneur, that’s sort of like part of the game, you know.

 

Manon Bolliger 22:21

It’s part of the game. And that’s the part that I find. Yeah, the most…yeah, the most challenging, you know, it’s funny, it’s not the, the actual art of what I do, or the authenticity of me or any of that. It’s the communication of that piece, you know, if you’re more like an introvert. So anyway, I was curious when you’re talking about authenticity, and the fact that you’re really just starting this whole venture, you know, how that is for you. And I think for many people in health, it’s an issue. You know, they’re not used to they’re used to the conversation, which is actually why I started a podcast because you are part of the conversation. You’re just talking to a camera and telling them blah, blah, blah, you know. Oh, I feel like, you know, it doesn’t matter how, how great, I feel the transformations I offer are, I can’t say it in a way that’s just too weird. You know, it’s like, wow, just come to me, or you’re just like, oh, maybe I don’t know.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 23:28

Yeah no, I feel you.

 

Manon Bolliger 23:32

Anyway, because…

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 23:32

I feel you though.

 

Manon Bolliger 23:36

There might be another way that still is around the corner to get this sound to sound. But okay, well, let’s, let’s go back to the content. Well, you know, these are feeling and how we get out there, right? Because, you know,

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 23:50

Yeah,

 

Manon Bolliger 23:51

What your skill set if nobody knows about you, you’re not really doing your mission. And you’re, you know, what you really are here to, to share. Right. It is important, that’s why you know, I am emphasize that point, you know, because some people are just fabulous at it. You know, some ticks off, that’s what they that’s how they feel, I guess, right?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 24:18

Yeah. And I think you know, for me, I guess like, I mean, I’m kind of like a jack of all trades, as you’d say. I’ve done a lot like I used to be professional dancer. Like when I was younger, like I’ve always had sort of an expressive side to me, whether or not I’m an introvert, which I am, but like I have the ability to express myself. So I see other people who are going on the same journey and they have a more challenging time showing up on social media because they just, it’s very uncomfortable to try and say something to a camera, like you said, so I think that the more that you just do it, right, the easier it becomes like anything really.

 

Manon Bolliger 24:57

Yeah. So why don’t we do talk a little now more about the work you actually do.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 25:04

Sure.

 

Manon Bolliger 25:05

And I think the aspect I’d like to know more about is, how do you see that people switch from victimhood? Which is sort of what the, you know, I don’t call it healthcare, the disease management society basically means it needs people who, who receive, but are not really ready to make major changes. Right. So how do you how do you see that transformation? Or what have you noticed that people that come for you? What’s their trigger to going, we have to do this differently?

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 25:52

Yeah, that’s a good question. I have noticed a trend where most people are coming to me because they are frustrated with the, as you call it, disease management, is that what you said. Yeah, healthcare, some do. Yeah. So, they are frustrated with the traditional system, because most of them will say, you know, I’ve been in therapy for 10 years. And I’m still having all of these symptomology of trauma. And, and then I’ll say, oh, well, well, what do you know, what kind of things do you talk about? Or do in therapy, and like, always just sort of talking about how my weeks been? And did anything bother me? And I’m like, Okay, that’s fair, I said, Fine, to be able to have events session, but really, they’re coming because they’re like, I want to actually get past this victim mode, and actually own my life to actually be able to show up in my life. And clearly, that’s not what they’re getting in the healthcare system. Now, this is not to diss health therapists at all. You know, there are some incredible ones out there. So, I don’t want to come across like I’m, you know, bashing them all, but there are a lot of them that are just sort of keeping people in this modality. I think, partly it’s because there is limitations on what they can do. And also, I think a lot of people aren’t, haven’t done the work themselves. So, they fully can’t grasp what it’s like to be on the other side. So, I find the trend is that women are coming to me because they extrude, they are extremely frustrated with the system. And they just are like at a point where they’re willing to invest in themselves, because they’ve been let down. You know, they’ve been hurt by someone in the health care system. They’ve been let down. They’ve been betrayed, right? There’s some really intense things that come up for women when they come to me, you know, like, oh, well, my therapist lied to me or my therapists are working on attachment theory, and then they just break up with me, it’s like things like this, and I’m just like, really unethical things, in my opinion. Yeah. So, I think, yeah, they come to me. And I guess when you’re saying, like, get them out of that victim state, to the to the system really is to help them see that there is actually a different way right. For myself. building credibility in what I do is a big part, right? Because I think as a society, we’ve really been trained to only see the benefits in, you know, traditional ways that there’s no other way and that stuff’s like floofy, or it’s not going to work or how do you trust people? That’s a big one, too. Especially a, you know, an entrepreneur, where you’re finding people, you’re meeting people on the internet, you know, how do you trust people, but I think for them is like really convincing them like, hey, there is a different way. And I think for me, that is definitely conveyed. And in really connecting with women, as well as sending them I do weekly, I’ve have an exclusive Facebook group with like, 4,000 people in it or something. And I do weekly videos, or bi weekly videos on different topics, they can understand, oh, there is something else out there, because I think there’s just a lot of lack of information outside of the biomedical, you know, model.

 

Manon Bolliger 29:02

Yeah, no, I agree. It struck me as you’re speaking how it’s like the paradigm that, you know, we both got raised in or gone through, it’s very much a problem solution, or as if the we have to spend more time analyzing the problem, you know, to find a solution and the solution by nature would be limited to whatever paradigm with slight changes like if let’s say if I was as a naturopath dealing with mental illness, I’d definitely be looking also at the impact of diet because there’s, you know, 70% of the neurotransmitters are located in the gut. So, you know, sometimes changing the diet could change completely the mood of a person, right? But that’s one, one possibility. There’s, there’s many other possibilities, but to shift the, the, the client or the patient into the driver’s seat is really, to me, that’s how you get creative. And that’s, you know, what is it you’re wanting to see for your life, because I see behind you, she designed a life she loved, and that word designed as you became the creator of life she loved. And I think, for me seeing the victim, it’s really transitioning into realizing that we are creative beings.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 30:42

Yeah, I think there’s so much power and creativity 100%. And I think that’s true. You know, I think that yeah, I truly believe that people can design or create a life that they want. And that, from my perspective, and my experience of working women is the people that I work with is, you know, looking at learn behaviors, really making connections between where you are today, and let’s say you had childhood trauma where that connection is there, really learning new patterns, as well as really being able to do that mind body connection. Like I think there’s education has to be done. There’s reflection that needs to be done inside of you. And as well as there needs to be really awareness around what is my body? What are the sensations, my feelings, my thoughts, and even yeah, nutrition, all of these things? How are these all connected? And how can I use all that to my own power to create a life that I want? You know, and I think there are people who would disagree with me on that, of course, and I think that there are people who will never go on a healing journey, because healing is hard. It’s not a one checkbox that you check off. It’s a continuous thing. And then there are people who are willing to go on the journey, and I think those are the people that will be more divided in their complexity as a person, but also understand what it truly means to be authentic more than others that won’t.

 

Manon Bolliger 32:09

Yeah, I mean, you can’t help everybody. It’s true.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 32:12

No, you can’t

 

Manon Bolliger 32:14

You know, and so, yeah, if you’re gonna choose people that you can be effective for, like we, we kind of end up defining it by what we attract. Buy what…

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 32:27

Absolutely, yeah.

 

Manon Bolliger 32:29

Well, it was a total pleasure. having this conversation with you, Alexa, do you have any last few words you want to share? Or how people could get ahold of you? I mean, they’re gonna have your bio and access to you, but anything else you’d like to share just to wrap up.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 32:46

I think I just want every woman or every person listening to this just to remember that you deserve to have a life that you love, like you deserve to…you’re worthy of that and that you all have what’s inside of you to actually create that and that’s the biggest message I want anyone to hear in this world. And yeah, you can catch me on Instagram, you know, Facebook, Alexa Rae Schiefer, I’m even on Tik Tok, which is like a baby. And I have a podcast to Authentically You, which I would love for you to pop on there and join me as well sometime. Yeah, it was better. It was a pleasure meeting you and chatting with you today.

 

Manon Bolliger 33:28

Well, thank you very much and see you another time.

 

Alexa Rae Schiefer 33:31

Yeah, absolutely.

 

ENDING: 41:33

Thank you for joining us at the Healers Café with Manon Bolliger. Continue your healing journey by visiting TheHealersCafe.com and her website and discover how to listen to your body and reboot optimal health or DrManonBolliger.com/tips.