How to Look Inward to Discover Outward Joy with Sarah Cormack on The Healers Café with Manon Bolliger

was 18 years old, I was like, there’s something there’s got to be this mind body connection, you know, like, that was back in the 80s. So, there wasn’t a lot of literature and accessibility to the internet, obviously. So, there was it was just something percolating within. And, then I found myself going down a path of very medical field. And even though I loved my job there working with cancer patients, it wasn’t allowing me to really explore my spirituality and, in my soul, calling as, as I kind of, am aware of now.

 

Manon Bolliger 03:51

Okay, and so let’s just get into that. What is your soul calling? When did you discover that? Because I find that the practitioners that and this is definitely a bias, but it’s also because that’s what I’ve been told a million times that the practitioners who find their soul calling, usually through experiences that they’ve had to go through, are the ones most able to listen and connect with the people they can help. Whereas if it’s more like, this will be interesting, or that kind of level of interest. You know, it’s interesting, but it doesn’t go deeper. So, was there anything in your…that you were wanting to share in your life that sort of, you know, it was all part of this?

 

Sarah Cormack 04:50

Well, it was in my relationship, actually, that I had a lot of challenges. And I blamed my husband for everything. And he was…he was having issues her struggling with alcohol dependency. And so, there was a lot of evidence built up, that was all his fault. And I sat across from a divorce lawyer, thinking, I’ve got to get out of this, like, I can’t do this anymore. And it was it was a real struggle in our relationship. And it was chaos in our family. And I just wanted out. And sitting across from the divorce lawyer kind of was that wake up call for me. And I realized that well, along the way, fate would have it that I met my spiritual teachers along the way, and was really enlightened, well just told, or just came into understanding that it wasn’t all his fault. And that my thoughts about where everything was in a relationship and what the situation was, was contributing to the whole dynamic and the whole dance. And I had never thought about that before, I was always pointing the finger out. And when I pointed it back at myself, I was like, oh, okay, there’s more to it than this. And it was never about blame. There’s never, it was not about blaming me or blaming him. But it was really coming to understand that this was the path that I have was that I was meant to take, regardless of the pain and the agony and the whole. You know, just everything to do with the struggles in our relationship. And so, I use that to really mine the gold in and I’ve been, my whole family is transformed from that experience. So, I find myself wanting to share that because it’s like, such an important thing to realize that in relationship, it’s not all as it seems. And there, I know that I had a soul contract with my husband, that we were meant to be here and to go through this. And so that it’s an opportunity. It is an opportunity. And it was a real opportunity, regardless of all the everything that I went through.

 

Manon Bolliger 07:30

Hmm, well, it’s interesting, you bring up soul contract, because, you know, I mean, our children choose us, okay. We really feel like on some level, we choose our partners, right. So, there’s a deeper level, because one way to deal with this is saying, okay, you know, you don’t want to live this type of life. This is, you know, crazy. It’s enough. It goes to get help you get, you know, help, because obviously it’s difficult, and then, you know, people part ways, but you were compelled to go through it like it was to go to actually, but not as a victim is what I’m hearing.

 

Sarah Cormack 08:19

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. And, the thing that was really apparent to me is that I wanted out so badly, but what I really needed to do was go in, and that was the most amazing, just understanding that this is what I need to do. This is my path. And it was really only that knowledge that I can do this. This is a path for me to heal my family. And it’s…yeah, it’s been pretty miraculous,

 

Manon Bolliger 08:58

So, at this point, I mean, it seems like it’s healed your whole family. Does that mean that also with your husband, he has, he has healed and come to see the whole family and the beauty of what has happened?

 

Sarah Cormack 09:18

Well, one thing that I always have I tune into every time is that we’re here to heal our own lines, not to change anyone else’s behavior. And this issue still are there, they still you know, it still happens we still there’s still issues where it comes up. And that’s another opportunity for me to go in and see where I need to heal. And so, it’s not ever about changing someone else’s behavior. There’s always an opportunity to look at where that healing needs to needs to be.

 

Manon Bolliger 10:01

So, it’s like life. It is an ongoing process and readjustment. So, in the work that you do with, I mean, I imagine that this is not so uncommon, a problem that many women would be having. Because it’s, you know, it is quite a prevalent problem in our society. Both ways, but either partner for that matter. But how do you, I’m really interested in…you clearly, you’re willing to go through things, but you’re not a victim. How would you describe what are the qualities so to speak of a and I don’t know what to say, I don’t like the word survivor? I don’t like any of these other words, either. But a person who’s not, I would say, a creator, one who creates their life compared to a victim.

 

Sarah Cormack 11:06

Yeah, exactly. It just basically nailed it, like, on the head. And that’s exactly it is that we are creative beings. And we have the power in our thoughts in our minds to create our realities. And so, if you’re in victim, you’re inviting more of that in and you’re just…you’re suffocated by all you can’t see any other way. And so, it’s kind of the victim mindset will really keep you stuck. And so, it’s not easy to get out of that. And to say that, okay, I am responsible for my thoughts. But when you realize that the creative being that you are, and that when you align your thoughts and your intentions with positive thoughts, and thoughts of love, then the universe is that align yourself like, the universe is open to more love. Right? So, it’s aligning yourself as love. And really, there’s only love or fear at the base, the base emotion. So, you if you choose fear, that’s where what you’re going to attract more of.

 

Manon Bolliger 12:34

Hmm. And I think too, when you’re in your…it’s like a, an acknowledgement of being responsible. A player in your life, right, you’re, you are part and parcel, but you’re definitely part of that, the life you have around you. Right? I think, at least I think it’s easier to get more connected to your wise woman or to your intuition to…you know, like, if you were I mean, in some relationships, it can be very dangerous. I mean, your life could be, you know, at stake, when so many women are beaten, there’s so much that is there is evident danger. And I think the thing is that we can’t love everything together. But if you can connect back to taking the responsibility of you, but also knowing when it’s not safe, when it really isn’t safe. You know, I think that probably, that’s like not being the victim anymore, you know, when you can actually say more on that, or,

 

Sarah Cormack 13:55

Well, thank you for making that distinction. Because they there is always that threat in and it wouldn’t be to stay in that and risk your life. And so that would be something that you would want to make sure you’re, of course, you’re out of harm’s way, and that you have the ability to take care of yourself because it’s really about coming back to loving yourself unconditionally. And when you love yourself and accept yourself unconditionally, then that’s what you’re putting out into the into the world. And so, you have to start with being in a space where your body and your nervous system is calm, and you’re open. Your body is open to that kind of feedback, right? Because if you’re in a state of alarm in a state of fight or flight, then healing is not possible. Right? You know that.

 

Commercial Break 15:00

Manon Bolliger here. And I want to thank you for taking actionable steps towards engaging your healing journey, and helping others discover their path by watching, sharing, subscribing, and reviewing these podcasts. Every review and share help spread the word on these different perspectives and choices and options for healing. And to thank you, I’d like to invite you to sign up to my free seven sequence email tips on health and healing for everyday life. You can go to healerscafe.com tips, thanks so much.

 

Sarah Cormack 15:41

I don’t have to tell you that.

 

Manon Bolliger 15:43

Well, we go back a little bit through Bowen College. And actually, I was gonna ask you, how do you then work with people? Because that’s, I mean, seems obvious, you have Bowen therapy, which when you say, you know, connect to realizing you’re not in fight or flight. I mean, that’s going to be one of the most amazing tools to allow you to recalibrate and see for real, where you’re at. Because often we have our bodies on overdrive, giving us messages that aren’t even true anymore. Which is what happens with our minds, but also with our bodies. But so how is that now in your practice? How do you work with people? How do you? Yeah, what happens these days? It’s been two very busy years of, you know, lots of restriction here. How, yeah, how has life been for you? I mean, these are conversations with therapists.

 

Sarah Cormack 16:48

Yeah, well, actually, everything mostly wasn’t online. So, I had to re pivot everything to go towards more coaching. And so, I’ve been in that process of redefining everything as a practitioner. And there’s an opportunity in Laura Gibson’s that I’m going to be starting up a Bowen clinic in the near future. And so, it’ll be great to be working on people again, and have that opportunity. Because of the state of the world. Everyone is in, like, how much fear have we been immersed in in the last two years? So just to get on working on people and bringing them back into their bodies, and back into the resetting the nervous system to be in that calm mode. And then it seems far more receptive to doing coaching work.

 

Manon Bolliger 17:54

Yeah, yeah. I know, that. It’s, I believe, in that so deeply, it always thrills me to, you know, to see that it’s true, you know, for other practitioners that are able to see that balance, you know, that it’s bringing people back to who they are. In the essence of who they are, right, it’s not like, you know, and again, without putting down any therapy, because I think we always find the therapy we need when we do. But, you know, it’s kind of like, to me, I see it as speaking a language that the body knows that it can auto regulate. Right? And, and I think that’s so important compared to practitioners sort of deciding, okay, we have to fix this or do that like, it’s less of a doing therapy than a being therapy for a physical therapy, right. So, I’ve always seen how, when we do any inner work or, you know, or the kind of work you’re doing, working with midlife crisis.

 

Sarah Cormack 19:16

Or opportunity.

 

Manon Bolliger 19:17

Or opportunity exactly including menopause potentially.

 

Sarah Cormack 19:25

The time is right, right. And, and, you know, women are really like the state of the world and everything that’s going on and the kind of looking at what is happening, the crumbling of this the old world, and this is really like people are hungry for something different, hungry for intuition, and language of the heart and connection and peace and really fulfilling lives. And it’s, you know, the time of the divine feminine, right? Like, this is it. So, it’s an exciting time. It’s a really exciting time as well, because people are ready for change. Women are ready for change. And women are going to be the leaders of this change in the world.

 

Manon Bolliger 20:18

Yeah, I think so. Definitely, you know, I am, it’s been a long time coming. I think it’s definitely that time now. For sure. So, what have been besides your personal life and how you got into doing the work you do and the passion behind it, what have been some of the challenges? So, it’s a hard one during COVID times but what have been the challenges, the things that you, you didn’t expect to be as difficult as they were to because you basically started a new type of practice, right?

 

Sarah Cormack 21:02

Yes, exactly

 

Manon Bolliger 21:03

What has been for you, challenges and the successes you’ve had?

 

Sarah Cormack 21:10

Well, just being here, today is a huge success for me. I don’t think I would have seen this two years ago, where I had this perfectionism thing going down, and everything, it had to be perfect. And I couldn’t make mistakes. And, it was I was very wanting to stay small and not be seen. And, and the thought of putting myself out there was paralyzing. And so again, COVID was a real opportunity to switch that up. And how am I going to do this? How am I going to get over myself? And how am I going to get out there and get be seen and heard if I’m going to stay in my house and not go and do anything? So, it was really it was a long journey. It was it was challenging, and but had to be done? And so it was, it’s very freeing, that I don’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to have it all the answers. So, I don’t have to do it. All right, and I can make mistakes, and you know, the world still goes on. So that was really an eye opening experience for me and very exciting because it’s just opened things up hugely.

 

Manon Bolliger 22:42

Ya know, it’s interesting, I think back of our little group, and it’s interesting, the name Wide Awake to Marketing. It’s wide awake, because you have to be awake, and I don’t mean woke just for them

 

Sarah Cormack 22:59

No, thank you

 

Manon Bolliger 23:03

Just to be clear. But it’s like, you know, to be to be so focused, as we I think we all start that way on our own imperfections, or our own not good enough, or our own whatever story it is that we have learnt unconsciously, usually in early childhood, by well-meaning parents, of course. So, the thing is, it’s still our stuff, right? And we have to deal with it, you know, and to come to a point where we realize that our message that what we want to share is actually more important to us than our own foibles and weaknesses, and our ineptitudes and our own whatever. It’s like we transcend big aspects of our ego that really kept us small and safe.

 

Sarah Cormack 23:58

Yes, exactly. And that was the job of the eagle when we were children, right. Here we are as adults, and I want to be an adult and not kind of continue to have that those limiting beliefs and just keep me small and safe. And yeah, definitely.

 

Manon Bolliger 24:18

I think that they’re just and you know, it’s funny, because in some ways, what we did as a group was also holistic, you know, it was the marketing with the emotions, with the passion, the purpose and everyone’s own individuality. Right? And I think that is the feminine way of the future. In you know, and this is an example in marketing but so many people in healthcare limit themselves because of this fear. You know, and I think we now more than ever, we need to get past ourselves. And we need to get out in the world, and we need to share what we’ve got because it’s not as if people aren’t suffering, you know, gonna be, you know, lots of it. And lots of disappointments, lots of unexpected, you know, there’s so much going on right now, that I think is really the time for healers as well to be seen, and you know, if you’re the best kept secret.

 

Sarah Cormack 25:29

Oh, yeah, I am not. Who wants that anymore? Right.

 

Manon Bolliger 25:35

So, what about something that I guess something you learned about helping people some an insight, I’m just throwing a thought out there. But something again, that you weren’t expecting?

 

Sarah Cormack 25:53

I think the power of listening and for people to really just be heard. And how powerful that is?

 

Manon Bolliger 26:08

How much is missing on our society. Not surprised about that.

 

Sarah Cormack 26:15

And especially over the last few years, where the connection has really been taken away from our society. And so, people need that connection, they need that, like, we’re wired for connection, right. We’re wired for that connection, that’s, that’s something beyond a need. That’s like a, something that’s just so deep, and necessary. And so, when you have that disconnect, you’re disconnected from society or disconnected from yourself. It’s really, for someone to hold the space and to listen, is a very, very powerful thing.

 

Manon Bolliger 27:02

You know, when you say that, it’s really true. And it’s interesting how when there’s commonalities, you know, in people’s lives experiences, or what they’ve been through in their life, whether it’s dealing with, you know, a partner who’s suffering from problems with alcohol, or abuse or trauma, or whatever it is, right? To be able to have a therapist or a practitioner that has gone through that is so valuable, because you feel heard and a different level. You know, and I think, yeah, maybe speak on that, and actually, I’m gonna let you finish and share what else you want to share.

 

Sarah Cormack 27:56

Yeah, I do think Manon I really feel that, you know, you, you have insight, because you’ve been there, and you’ve lived it. And you know, the pain and the suffering and the agony, and you know, the behaviors that come along with it. You know, everything that you want your partner to change, right, you want you think that you’re in this relationship, so they’re going to make you happy. And that’s not the case. And so, it’s really like, you’re the only one that needs to do your work to find that level of contentment, and joy, and love for…and deep, deep, unconditional love for yourself. And the rest is gravy. It’s just like, it’s just, it’s really oh, gosh, I’m lost for words. Yeah, it’s just such a joy. Yeah. And to know, and also, so you know, that and so you can envision where the client is. And you can envision how they can get to be in a different place, how they can bring joy and contentment, and love and happiness into their life. Because I did it, so right. And so, I feel that that’s like, I am a model for that. Like, if I can do it, and this is a path then it’s available to you too. Yeah,

 

Manon Bolliger 29:41

Exactly. May not be the exact same path, but it’ll be…you know, there is a path there is a way then it’s at least worth

 

Sarah Cormack 29:50

Yeah. And I think I to finish up just to say that just to trust that you are on the right path and that you…everything, there is a divine plan. And for you to it might not be evident when you’re where you’re at, but just to have that faith and that trust that that plan will unfold, and that you are exactly where you are meant to be right now.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:20

Well, thank you very much. And also, where can people follow you because I do see you on social media. It will put all those things on okay.

 

Sarah Cormack 30:30

Yeah, I’m on Instagram and I have a Facebook group Miracles in Midlife Sisterhood that I go to that I have for women 40 over and Instagram and my website as well.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:45

Right and it’s step into balance?

 

Sarah Cormack 30:48

Website is sarahcormack.ca.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:50

Your name. Okay. Okay. well, thank you.

 

Sarah Cormack 30:54

Thank you. Thank you, Manon it’s been great. Thank you so much for this opportunity.

 

ENDING: 41:33

Thank you for joining us at the Healers Café with Manon Bolliger. Continue your healing journey by visiting TheHealersCafe.com and her website and discover how to listen to your body and reboot optimal health or DrManonBolliger.com/tips.