How to Create the Life You Choose
with Judith Joy on The Healers Café with Dr M (Manon Bolliger), ND

him for like 22 years. We started out as patient and then now we’re colleagues. And he just kept pushing me in a direction. And he totally believed in me, which is what I needed. I needed someone to believe in me until I could believe in myself. And he’d say, we’ll go talk to this person or go take this class, read this book, look at this article, look at this video, whatever it was. And it just fascinated me. And the more I did it, I was like, oh, well, I can do this. And the first thing I did was become a healer. And I’m like, okay, I can do this. And then I sort of went into consciousness transformation. And I went, Oh, yeah, well, it’s the same thing. Healing is applied to the body. And consciousness transformation is applied to life. And then I’m like, Okay, why did certain things work in my life, and other things didn’t. And then I’ve sort of narrowed it down. And I went, Oh, that’s it. I’m gonna teach everybody how to work with their life. So that they can have the life that they dream of, and they can have a life that works for them instead of one that doesn’t work for them.

 

Manon Bolliger 04:10

Okay, well, that seems quite simple.

 

Judith Joy 04:14

Actually, is very simple. And what I’m really good at is taking the super complicated idea and going, Okay, this is what it is. And it’s not that I have all these fancy degrees of anything. You know, I even go and get in the way, you know? Yeah. I just went with that’s interesting that piques my interest, and did it work or not? And does it work for me? Does it work for other people? For example, one of I’ve got four children. And my third, Shoshana, she lets me use her name all the time. When she was young, she had depression and anxiety and she has been in therapy, and she tried treatment center and she tried pharmaceuticals and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, all that stuff. At 21, she came to me and said, none of this is working. Teach me what you do. So, to a mother’s heart, it’s like, you know, it’s like, so exciting. And we started weekly lunches, and I started teaching her all of this. And she was able to let go of depression. And she’s now one of the happiest people I know. And she’s totally embracing life. And it’s great. It’s fabulous.

 

Manon Bolliger 05:41

So, okay, are you able to share a little bit the path or the, the process? I mean, I’m assuming it’s about understanding that we can make choices on some level, because most people don’t realize it seems so obvious, but it’s like, it’s true. It’s like, if you feel like, life’s happening to you, you know, then it’s like, well, where do you make a choice? You know, once you understand that, your creative energy, then you can choose?

 

Judith Joy 06:18

Okay, so here’s the thing before you make choices. Yeah, you have to raise your vibration. David Hawkins talks about a consciousness scale, right? Zero to 1000. And these over here are what I’m looking at as low vibe. This is where you have depression, anxiety, shame, blame, frustration, you know, all of that is down here. Then you move up a little bit, and you’ve got anger. Anger is actually a higher vibration, right? Then apathy, or depression, because if you think when you are depressed or apathetic, you’re laying on the couch, and you don’t have any energy to move. You get up to anger, you got some energy to move, you can do something a little bit higher for pride, and that’s where the Marines are. And that’s where it’s like, yeah, I can do it. But you go up just a little bit more, where you take responsibility for everything in your life, right? And then you tip over into the high vibe. And then Whoa, watch out. Because once you take responsibility for everything, you’re not blaming anybody else. And even if you are, it’s a temporary blame, and you go, oh, wait, there’s something in me that this is showing me. And then when you’ve hit that point of accepting the responsibility, you’ve got compassion. You’ve got kindness. You’ve got gratitude. love, peace, joy, calm in whatever combination you want. And when you’re operating from that energy, you can think it and have it become reality. It doesn’t have to be that it’s so hard. Right now, in low light. Yeah, it is hard. It’s hard to get the energy to do anything. And it is a force reality, because you have to force things to happen. When you’re in the high vibe. It’s a power reality because you’re stepping into your power. And guess what? Everybody has the ability to use their power. It’s a choice.

 

Manon Bolliger 08:41

Right. Oh, I love the way you’ve, you’ve put that together. You know, it’s interesting. Yeah. Because I see choice. But you’re right. It’s not. You can’t make choice if you’re in fear. Or if you’re in, in you know, anger is different, because you may make a wrong choice, but you’ll make a choice or this you made a choice. But, but it’s true that if you’re in anxiety, or you’re

 

Judith Joy 09:15

Yeah, the world right now is in a whole lot of fear. And it’s like being strangled. And you kids paralyzing thing. Yeah. So, the next phase is going to be anger. Yeah. And I’m like, Okay, I’m putting out into the world, that the truth is revealed, whatever that truth is. And if we go through the anger, you know, with luck, it’ll be fast. Right? And maybe we can skip over the anger. And maybe we can all choose to take responsibility for everything in our lives, right. Yep. And then create a life that works for us.

 

Manon Bolliger 09:59

Now Yeah, that’s interesting. So how do you see? Like, are we just born into an energy vortex or field that is this or that because of our types of parenting or because of this is, you know, what we’re destined to experience or go through? Or how do you see how this happens?

 

Judith Joy 10:26

That’s where choice comes in. You may be born at this level over here. Do you choose to stay there? Or but do you really good over here? Most people move 510 points on a scale.

 

Manon Bolliger 10:46

But isn’t that because they the idea of choice isn’t really their responsibilities? And really,

 

Judith Joy 10:54

I think the idea of choice is there. But being able to give the choice, power.

 

Manon Bolliger 11:04

Right? Yeah, another it’s actually do something with it.

 

Judith Joy 11:08

Right. So even if you’re over here, and you’re in shame and blame, and you just move a little bit, and then you move a little bit, and then you move a little bit, and then you move a little bit, and then you move a little bit, eventually, you’re going to make it up here. Now, some people can be here and go, Whoa, I’m all the way over. But your body isn’t used to that. And your body always returns to what it used to. So you go, I’m up here. Well, this is great. I’m having so much fun, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Oh, that headaches gonna bring you back to here. Can you agree? Okay. Now, do I choose to stay here? Nope. I’m moving up again. Do I choose to stay? Nope. Eventually, your low will be what your high used to be.

 

Manon Bolliger 12:03

Right? Mm hmm. Now that that’s seems like there is a progressive ability.

 

Judith Joy 12:15

Like one and 2019 I was complaining about my husband for three weeks straight. I’m really stupid stuff. But I was just got in this cycle of complaining. And then I got this massive cold. And I had to laugh at myself. Because I know that when my vibration goes down, I’m more likely to catch a cold, huh? Sure. You know, just because everything is like, I started laughing at myself. And then I was teaching some classes. And I came home one day, and I was like, so high. And I’m like, oh, my goodness, this is great. Because I was teaching a workshop at the homeless shelter. And I felt great. And these people are wonderful. And oh, my goodness, and they’re just sucking up the information and edited it. And I made the choice very emphatically that I’m going to be high five no matter what. And then everything shifted to allow that to happen.

 

Manon Bolliger 13:25

Right. But when you made the choice, because you just felt better.

 

Judith Joy 13:31

It felt so good. But the thing is, once you taste this over here, no matter how many times you fall back, yeah, right. Oh, but that looks good. I’m going over there. That feels good. I’m going.

 

Manon Bolliger 13:45

Yeah, and I think that it feels good. Right? If that’s the thing is it’s actually yeah, I think I’m I don’t want to do this left and right. Because not only my potentially dyslexic, the screen is inverted.

 

Judith Joy 13:57

So, it doesn’t matter which side you’re on.

 

Manon Bolliger 14:00

No, I joking. I’m trying to follow your, your line. Which, which slider?

 

Judith Joy 14:08

If you’re low vibe is to the left or to the right.

 

Manon Bolliger 14:12

I was just, I was thinking for the public to not be confused as, as we’re pointing.

 

Judith Joy 14:18

It could be low to high.

 

Manon Bolliger 14:20

Absolutely. But I think you know, for me that I think the high is just it big. It’s not just because becomes comfortable. It’s it just feels good. Right? Like that’s it, you know, so you get to live in a sense of the life you love. Even if there’s insane chaos, right? It’s like it doesn’t make you this. What’s the word in English I’m not compassionate like I’m in fact an empath so it like oh A lot of things I feel, but I still choose to be here. Yeah, it’s not even really any more a choice it just it. You know that? Because it feels good. Like, my body is better with that.

 

Judith Joy 15:14

We do things for the feeling they give us. Yeah, yeah, totally. Have you ever walked into your closet? Or stood in front of your closet? And I don’t have anything to wear?

 

Manon Bolliger 15:27

No, that’s not my closet, unfortunately.

 

Judith Joy 15:31

But it’s the feeling I want to go out for dinner, I want to put something on. I can’t find the right thing to wear. No, ah, it’s all this yuck. What you’re actually saying is I’m looking for a feeling. And I’m looking for this outfit to match the feeling right. outfit to give me the feeling with the work that I do. Let’s build up the feeling so that you feel really good. And okay, which outfit is going to match that? I’ll take that one.

 

Manon Bolliger 16:05

Yeah, and today it’s red today. It’s blue. Right?

 

Judith Joy 16:08

Right. It’s not that the outfit is giving you the feeling the outfit is matching the feeling that you have?

 

Manon Bolliger 16:16

Yeah, yeah, I can see that. So, in one of your let me get the right words. You said? Oh, surviving your teenager. So, the title itself. Okay. But the title itself sounds like the parent in that condition is the one that is in the in the victim perspective. If they’re if they’re surviving their teenager, like how, how our

 

Judith Joy 16:55

The title is in being happy anyway.

 

Manon Bolliger 16:58

Right. Okay, stop. Okay. I was gonna say, okay, that’s, that seems inconsistent with your recipe for now. Okay, yeah. So, like, in a few words, people can go get the book, but what is the, what’s the lesson there? What is it that people need? Or could understand if they want to do

 

Judith Joy 17:25

It’s up to you how you want to feel your teenager is doing what teenagers do. And part of what teenagers do is they’ve grown up with your rules and society rules. And it’s up to them to say, does this work for me? And let me experiment like, and they’re going to experiment and they’re going to create bad choices. As a parent, I always had the feeling, I would like them to experiment at home. I would like them to make the bad choices at home. Because if I wait until they go to college, because they’ve been perfect all the way through school, and now they started, then possibly, it’s going to go really bad.

 

Commercial Break 18:25

Hi, I’m Dr. Manon Bolliger j and I wanted to take a moment to thank you for watching these podcasts. If you haven’t subscribed, please do. Also, feel free to leave comments and like it. This way more people get to find out about this work and about other choices for health. So, I think it’s really important that we all share this information, I have a free gift to you. It’s a seven sequence email that has tips for every day, and a little insight about how to live your life when it comes to health. And it’s very much built on how I managed to overcome stage four cancer and what it took. So, I would love you to have this and thank you once again for listening to these podcasts.

 

Manon Bolliger 19:26

Interesting. Yeah.

 

Judith Joy 19:27

You know, I’ve with the four kids, three of them. I did this with and three of them by the time they got to college. They were pretty self-sufficient. Yeah, they made some mistakes in college, but nothing drastic. Shoshana because of the treatment centers and the boarding school, and she was very, very tied down in high school. College. Whoa, watch out. She was let loose on the world. And it was a completely different experience for her. Most people want their kids to change, not realizing that it’s them. As a parent, I need to change, I need to open up my acceptance, I need to allow for things to be different than what I thought they should be. And that doesn’t mean that you’re going to let your kid shoplift, because part of showing that your kid is doing something wrong is that there are consequences. And you’re the one that goes, no, that didn’t work for me. I’m not going to have a kid that does this. And whatever the consequences that you decided in, be solid in it, but still be at peace within yourself. The difference is, oh, no, they shoplifted, and oh, no, they did this. And oh, no, let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And let me talk about it. And I keep talking and talking and talking and talking and talking to guess what, what you focus on is what you get. If you focus on the problem, you’re going to get more problems. Deal with it done over with now focus on how good this kid is. This kid is amazing at math. Oh, my goodness, let me tell you about his math teacher, his math teacher called me thrilled because he understood some deep concept of blah, blah, you know, whatever. Yeah. And you start blasting that to the world, and the kid wants attention. So now he’s going to step into the space of Wow, she believes in Me, and look at what she’s telling everybody.

 

Manon Bolliger 21:54

Well, I think I mean, one thing that I I’m saying one thing, there may be more than 113 for now. But I think it’s to believe in your in your kid right and your child because but to believe in your child, you have to believe in yourself.

 

Judith Joy 22:15

Yes.

 

Manon Bolliger 22:16

Right.

 

Judith Joy 22:16

And that’s, you know, that’s to know how to believe.

 

Manon Bolliger 22:19

Exactly. Absolutely. Because the thing is, you know, the word mistake, I have like, okay, I can’t know that it’s a mistake. I mean, yes, shoplifting has consequences. But many of the things that we call mistakes. I kind of not I don’t see them that way. I thought okay, now you have an interesting way of looking at it. You figured this out. Okay, good. Now, you know, now you know that

 

Judith Joy 22:49

You can drop the word interesting into the sentence, then you can shift the energy. Because that kid came home after having, say a fight at school. Well, there was an interesting choice for you. Wow. Now, your principal called me. And I had an interesting conversation. Drop the word interesting in there. And it sort of takes the steam out of it.

 

Manon Bolliger 23:27

Yeah, yeah. No, I, I, I very much feel that way. Because it’s like, I want to stay really curious. Yeah. You know, curious, why do people do what they do? How does life bring opportunity for them to, you know, I remember one, one call I had from school. And my daughter had stood up for another child who, the pronoun to judge it, but it’s its strength of character. It is strength of character. Absolutely. And so that child needs to go to the washroom. And the teacher is being a complete, you know, we don’t need to use words there. But it’s like, especially, I don’t remember the exact details because that’s the nature of, of thoughts. You distort, turn, twist, forget, delete, whatever. And we only remember maybe 50% accurately, but it was something like this. This is just in case she’s listening. But something of this nature, like, you know, she’s got to go, you know, like, don’t you understand women have periods or something like this, you know, it’s like it’s not optional. She went out and then she was brought to the to the, you know, to the front desk into principal. And yeah, and it’s like, wow, you know, it’s, it was an interesting thing. And it’s like, wow, I, I recognized in her this incredible power to stand up for people. And I thought, wow, you know, this is a thing. Did you notice this?

 

Judith Joy 25:18

You probably looked at you like, Well, yeah, of course

 

Manon Bolliger 25:22

I know. And now she’s extremely strong willed. We don’t always agree, but I love her for being very clear. You know, it’s, it’s an interesting thing, and then maybe something will shift that, you know, like, we don’t know how we’re all made up, you know? Like, what all the pieces that are learning lessons that shift our, our understanding of life, right, so

 

Judith Joy 25:44

So true.

 

Manon Bolliger 25:47

Okay, now, let’s go to the husband, who was the second book better future lover, your future book boyfriend to life?

 

Judith Joy 25:55

Okay, from boyfriend to bring your book boyfriend to life.

 

Manon Bolliger 26:01

Okay, so tell us about that.

 

Judith Joy 26:04

Um, I had heard about this method of writing letters and journaling to your husband as if he was already there. And I went, Okay, I’ll give it a try. You know, see if it works. So, I wrote these journal entries. And some were like a paragraph long, and some were 12 pages long, whatever. And I did it at night, and a couple times in the morning. And then I put it away in the nightstand. And 14 months go by, and I’m cleaning. And I, oh, my goodness, I’ve got a journal. And I’m thinking, Oh, it’s nothing in it. It’s fresh. It’s wonderful. I opened it up, and I’m like, oh, there’s writing. And then you start reading it and what? Huh? This is the guy I just met. Look, it says right here, he’s gonna make me a better me. Oh, my goodness, I just said that to him. And I remember saying that my next husband’s going to be a chiropractor. And this guy’s a chiropractor. And look at this. And in the journal, I had written, I don’t know if you’re interested in politics, but I’m not. I’ll check his so proper. I should have been more careful. Interesting. Um, but it was like all of us. And I’m like, Okay, this is something that worked for me. And this was like nine and a half years ago that I met him, and we’ve been married seven years. And like, wow, I’ve got to share this with people. And so, a big part of this book is the journals, the journal entries themselves. But each chapter is talking about a principle of how to manifest. Like, if you have allowance, if you change your perspective, if you change your vibration, those are all ways to manifest. And then it talks, says, here’s a journal entry that sort of applies to it as much as it can. And oh, by the way, this is how it showed up in my life.

 

Manon Bolliger 28:24

Interesting. You know, I just had this thought when you’re sharing that. And I it because I’ve been somewhat resistant to journaling. But I did journal when I was in a very difficult relationship. And I journaled every day, because it felt like I needed to record what I was experiencing. Because otherwise I wouldn’t believe I literally…

 

Judith Joy 28:55

Well, there’s a lot of different types of journaling. Some types of journaling is a brain dump, right here, let me just get it out of my head. So, it doesn’t take up space anymore. Yeah, just write it, write it, write it, write it. And this happened, and then this happened. And then this happened, you know, the and then and then and then. And then you’ve got the heart dump.

 

Manon Bolliger 29:15

Yeah, I think it’s more a heart dump because I was doing. The chronology barely matters to me.

 

Judith Joy 29:23

Then you’ve got the forward focused. There’s a book, I can’t remember scripting your life or something like that. But it talks about writing, as if it already happened, right. And this particular author says you do it for every day. And then you can do it for a week or a month or the year. And then you look back and go Well, last year, I wrote that this is how I would feel on this day. And all of these amazing things happen and then you start to compare. But according to this author, if you do it daily, even if it’s a trip to the grocery store, I’m gonna walk through the grocery store and things are gonna fall in my cart. And then things start happening to like, someone bumps something, and it falls in your cart. You go, oh, there it is.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:18

Finding the proof. Yeah. But you know what, what I found interesting, though, in this, not the heart dump, okay? is also the, what happens with the subconscious? Because when you’re writing, so I wrote, I wrote in my diary, which I didn’t discover till much later, I wrote, this is the day my cancer starts. And I actually developed stage four cancer. But I didn’t, I wasn’t aware that I had written this.

 

Judith Joy 30:52

We are most definitely, most people are not aware of what they are saying or thinking.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:59

Yeah, and clearly, because I was just like, you know, putting my, my, what I’m feeling what’s going on, sometimes I would pick a card, or I would do things that I would not normally believe or count on. But it’s like, sometimes you feel just so desperate. any insight? Let me see what, how that shifts me and changes me? Why is this happening? You know that kind of stuff? You know? So, I have all kinds of, you know, writings on that. But when I found that, I was like, wow, this is, you know, it’s an interesting thing.

 

Judith Joy 31:35

But look at how powerful of a manifester you are.

 

Manon Bolliger 31:38

Oh, exactly. That’s the problem too, in the sense that, you know, go back to what you’ve written. You know, change the course, like if I knew that, subconsciously. Imagine if I had taken faster action.

 

Judith Joy 31:56

Or if you had recognized it in the moment and said, No, that’s not true.

 

Manon Bolliger 32:01

Exactly. which did not happen that way. Yeah, yeah. Did you learn from the cancer? Well, I learned several things is that you cannot artificially remove a cancerous organ without removing the cancerous relationship. Yeah. That was the biggest thing. It’s like it time to go. And I was kind of the strong person that I can. It’s fine. I understand. Everyone has their staff. So extremely accepting. Because I’m a happy person. I always have been very joyful. So, I wasn’t being hurt in my joy. It was more that I was overly accepting of behaviors and things that really, why would I want a life like this

 

Judith Joy 32:54

The difference between acceptance and discernment? And there’s a difference between judgment and discernment. And discernment is the ability to say, this is my line, you’ve crossed it.

 

Manon Bolliger 33:10

Right? Yeah. And I think I was I was believing that I was strong enough. That was the story that I understood that if a person had a really hard life and a hard time, then I was like, Okay, I understand that, you know, how, and so it was like an excess of passion, compassion, that kind of stuff. And it’s like, well, wait a minute here. It’s still I’m get to choose, you know,

 

Judith Joy 33:36

Like, isn’t your job to make somebody else happy?

 

Manon Bolliger 33:39

It’s not and I totally get that, you know, and, and it’s, it’s, it’s difficult because even with the, the adult kids, you know, I want them to be happy. And it’s like, when are they gonna figure this out? And they are like, they are figuring this out. And, but that’s definitely where you run over feeling. Somehow, you’re responsible and self-responsibility. And the bad it’s, you’re not responsible for everybody else’s trip on this world.

 

Judith Joy 34:11

Very true. Very true.

 

Manon Bolliger 34:14

Anyway, I think our time is like going so

 

Judith Joy 34:17

Oh, my goodness, sorry. I mean,

 

Manon Bolliger 34:21

I call this conversations because they really are. So, but you did. Any. Any last statement. You want to leave everyone with?

 

Judith Joy 34:31

Yeah, I love helping people. And I want to help people create a life that works for them. And I do this through personal coaching group coaching workshops, the workshops that I design workshops of, you make, get together a group of friends, and we’re colleagues or whatever, and hey, let’s do a workshop. And I’ve got a lot of free stuff on my website. Yes, with joy, calm and You know, it’s like, I’ve got videos on there. I do micro mini workshops, three minutes. That’s it. And it’s your moment of joy. And I’ve got blogs on there going back years. And I give just tons and tons of information. So even if you never use the coaching or the workshops, then you know, by all means, get the information.

 

Manon Bolliger 35:29

Enjoy,

 

Judith Joy 35:31

And enjoy life. Enjoy. In fact, I changed my name. When I got divorced. I changed my name to joy. Okay, okay. And then I went through the court system changed it that I get home. And my sister says, you do realize that your stripper name and like what are you talking about? Man joy, do to enjoy. Like, okay, like I’m a stripper name.

 

Manon Bolliger 36:13

Well, anyway, thank you, Judith. Joy. It was great to have you.

 

Judith Joy 36:20

Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Dr M (Manon Bolliger), ND

Thank you for joining us. For more information, go to DrManonBolliger.com.