Living With Chronic Pain: Gentle Steps Forward with Vita Oyler & Manon on The Healers Café

digestive system. Yeah, that made the side effects for me. Yeah, side

Manon Bolliger  05:38

effects. And and did you actually get any pain relief from them yourself? No. Okay. No. Yeah. Yeah. It was just

Vita Oyler  05:46

it was just causing me to be goofy, if you want. Right. And side effects. You know. No. I. I. I wasn’t getting any relief from the RSD, and that’s why I’ve just said no. There’s got to be other alternatives to this. I can’t, you know. I’m going to move on.

Manon Bolliger  06:10

Yeah, but I think it’s it’s if you have a clear experience with it, you know, because I know my my husband is in chronic pain, and people are constantly saying, “Well, have you done painkillers? You know, like as if they always work, or as if you can tolerate their side effects. You know, and it’s like not going down that path. You know, so

Vita Oyler  06:35

exactly, you know, and

Manon Bolliger  06:35

then you’re clear, and then then I think it’s more motivating to look for alternatives, but well, what did you find that that worked? I mean, besides having the attitude of like, okay, this door is not going to reopen. We got to find another one. Besides the search, what what has helped you

Vita Oyler  07:00

as far as me moving

Manon Bolliger  07:03

on, what

Vita Oyler  07:04

what’s helped me to tell you the truth is my faith. I have faith. The avoid for me avoiding anything that caused inflammation in my body, because I found that if I ate certain things, you know, it inflamed the pain more. So I looked at alternatives. In fact, my family got so involved that my husband decided to open up a natural food store. Wow! So I would eat the good stuff, but but we you know but I got into that, and then I also started focusing on things that I you know that I knew that I could do because you know sometimes when you have the pain, you give up on doing things, so I started going. Well, no, start doing stuff like, and they work. Things that I could do, like, okay, today I’m gonna make the bed. I’m not gonna fly to the moon, but I’m gonna make the bed, and I’m going to find things that I could do, and then pat myself on the shoulder after I did that, which was an enforcement, and it works for my clients too. You know, finding things that you could could do and not giving up, but I, you know, but food and and and laughter, laughter. I I really emphasize that because when you just crack a little smile, you’re releasing that good hormone. You know, if you can’t, if you do anything, watch a segment of I Love Lucy or something that is just kind of out there, and you know, just to get a little smile, or like I tell people, look outside your window, and you might see a beautiful butterfly, or or a beautiful bird, or something that might trigger that little smile for you, which helps,

Manon Bolliger  09:22

right?

Vita Oyler  09:22

You know, but I’m so, you know, I and and to think positively, you know, you got to be positive too, and when you’re doing this, but I don’t know, you know, there there’s a whole regimen of things that you can do to make the pain. I I I call it camouflage the pain. So I I, you know, does I still have RSD? It doesn’t change that, but I sure live the life that I want to live, and I. Call it successful, and successful. I don’t mean by it’s monetary. I mean successful in my life,

Manon Bolliger  10:07

right? So it hasn’t stopped you from doing or the things you want to do. I mean within a limit, but I mean

Vita Oyler  10:18

yeah, within my means

Manon Bolliger  10:21

exactly your life,

Vita Oyler  10:22

yeah, yeah, and it’s not living just in the dark. I mean, I I’ve seen it with so many clients that just live in the dark, and and you know, just I can’t do this, and with you know the word I can’t, I can’t. Instead of use the word that I can do that and be more positive. Okay, I can’t go running. I can’t jog anymore or run, but you know that it that doesn’t bother me. I can do this, right? You have to have a mindset.

Manon Bolliger  11:02

So how do you get that mindset if a person doesn’t have that mindset?

Vita Oyler  11:08

Mindset. You have to start. I I do it by starting off with the I can’s, the mindset, my goals. You have to start with little goals, like I say, you know, because then you can see it. You write it down, and then like today, I or or make it for tomorrow or whatever. I’m going to make the bed, or I’m going to get up and brush my teeth, and you know, feel better about myself, and then you look at your little list in the morning, and then if it works, check it off. And if you don’t complete it completely, that’s okay. You attempted that and pat yourself on the shoulder and move on again. It’s through positive reinforcement that you’re giving yourself, really. You know, you know. But it’s important that you that a person with pain, you know, you achieve these little goals because it makes you feel better and it makes that pain Livable, because when my doctor said, “Vita, you’re just going to have to learn how to live with pain. How do you do that? How do you live with pain? But there are ways to do that, and I’ve got you know this you know about RSD, and there’s no cure for it, and it really hurts. And but you know, I I’m doing fine. I and it’s not. I had a doctor, by the way, that called me Vita Scripts, and he said, Vita, you’re the best queen of denial I’ve ever

Manon Bolliger  12:59

known. Yeah, yeah. Well, what actually? What do you think about denial? You know, because I mean, you know, they say, for example, like with cancer, that if you’re in denial, the chances of survival are actually higher than the positive thinkers. You know, and I’m thinking, okay, what is it? Is it about not engaging, like, like in other words, with pain? I mean, it. The more you focus on it, the more intense it becomes because that’s where your attention is, and that’s how we’re that’s how we’re made,

Vita Oyler  13:37

right Right.

Manon Bolliger  13:38

But how how do you work with denial, or do you and and it could be reframed another way. There’s other words. Denial has certain connotations.

Vita Oyler  13:49

Connotations, yeah. Oh no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah. I I think well, like like Dr. Sternbach at that time he said you’re the queen of denial, but he meant it in a good way,

Manon Bolliger  14:06

right?

Vita Oyler  14:07

You know, he knew I knew that I had a a condition that wasn’t going to go away. I knew that I had to live a you know live a certain way because of it, but I found ways to move on in spite of it. Is if that makes sense, and and so you’re not really in a denial state, and you’ve accepted that I have pain, but I can overcome. I can overcome it. I could do this. That’s how I mean. It’s kind of like together.

Manon Bolliger  14:51

But so what? What did like? And I know it’s purely subjective. But out of 10,

Vita Oyler  14:58

yeah,

Manon Bolliger  14:58

in the kind of low. Times of pain. What what is it out of 10, and when it acts up, maybe when you’re more inflamed or whatever. What what are the numbers that you’re

Vita Oyler  15:11

yeah

Manon Bolliger  15:11

you’re dealing with? And I know it’s subjective, so oh

Vita Oyler  15:15

god, I get a 10 when I’m totally if I’m stressed on something total on one. we’re when I’m going through some things and I get the pain, I could really feel it.

Manon Bolliger  15:33

Yeah. And

Vita Oyler  15:33

then I also, so you know, and when I’m when I relax more because I I think that’s really important to to you know to meditate to let it go to to you know you have to do that too and you could do that I tell everybody you know I have people well how do you do that well you could do it through if you’re a person of prayer, you could do it through prayer. If you’re a person of yoga, you could do it through yoga. You could do it through mindfulness, being here and now to bring down that stress level, and I think that that helps me to bring down that level.

Commercial Break  16:21

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Vita Oyler  17:31

And I we went through some medical issues not too long ago, so that you know it wasn’t mine,

Manon Bolliger  17:39

and

Vita Oyler  17:41

it really, you know, it did increase that pain. And then I also realized, Vita, stay away from the sugars, you know, and stay away from the things that are causing more of the inflammation. I believe that when we’re inflamed,

Manon Bolliger  17:59

to

Vita Oyler  18:00

try try and avoid the foods that cause that inflammation.

Manon Bolliger  18:06

So, is part of your supplementation taking natural anti-inflammatories, or is it just mostly you’re avoiding eating them in the first place?

Vita Oyler  18:19

I’m more would I take, I take for me for for the RSD. I’ll take like malic magnesium, malic acid magnesium, you know, and then I do the the vitamin D, and then I take some oils, because I think overall they’re they’re good for me,

Manon Bolliger  18:45

yeah.

Vita Oyler  18:47

But then a lot a lot of it too is is I I eat I try and eat well. I mean I really do, and I don’t mean going out and smorgasbord type well. I mean, but

Manon Bolliger  19:01

try

Vita Oyler  19:02

and avoid that. You know, the foods that I know that cause the the inflammation. I go, no, I don’t need that. So, so that to me that that helps, and that helps people that I work with as well

Manon Bolliger  19:18

when

Vita Oyler  19:19

they’re going through it, I had just I had an incident where a doctor that I was seeing at a pain clinic, he he actually came into our store because I was telling him he didn’t know that we had a store, and he came into our store and said, “I’m looking for malic acid, magnesium, because it helps one of my patients. I was afraid to go out. Yeah, that’s doctor.

Manon Bolliger  19:55

Do your own research. You know that just shows how you know the. The current system is really not up to date for either healing or they say they they’re for management, but it’s very it’s very pharmaceutical management. It’s not even health management. It’s not you know no

Vita Oyler  20:17

through the pharmacies. Now

Manon Bolliger  20:20

have you have you heard of med beds? Med med beds?

Vita Oyler  20:28

No, I have not.

Manon Bolliger  20:29

Okay, they’re apparently part of the new technology that is in the process of being unsuppressed because it was kept, you know, for economic reasons by, you know, the money trails you can follow. Oh

Vita Oyler  20:47

yeah, of course, but of course,

Manon Bolliger  20:50

like the pharmaceuticals, like all that stuff, you know. But apparently, they have been in use by the military and by the Alliance, and it looks like they can do absolute wonders to all kinds of conditions. That’s

Vita Oyler  21:10

wonderful. Yeah.

Manon Bolliger  21:12

So keep your eyes open for that,

Vita Oyler  21:14

boy. No kidding. We definitely will for that.

Manon Bolliger  21:18

Where do you live?

Vita Oyler  21:20

I live in Cal. I live in California.

Manon Bolliger  21:23

Okay, so you’ll be one the last to hear. It’s like China.

Vita Oyler  21:31

You’re up in Canada.

Manon Bolliger  21:32

Yeah,

Vita Oyler  21:33

yeah, that’s where my relatives are.

Manon Bolliger  21:36

We know nothing unless you really search for things, you know, because everything’s banned and you’re not allowed to have opinions, and you know, we’re we’re we live in interesting times, but do have a look for those because they are, and don’t go for any of the ones where you’re charged for a treatment.

Vita Oyler  21:55

Really,

Manon Bolliger  21:56

it’s going to roll out as completely free, and that should be very soon.

Vita Oyler  22:04

Wow! So it’s coming out probably.

Manon Bolliger  22:09

I would say probably within a week to 10 days. That soon. That

Vita Oyler  22:16

is awesome. But I mean,

Manon Bolliger  22:17

by the time they’re in all the hospitals and you know, there’s enough.

Vita Oyler  22:22

Awesome. It

Manon Bolliger  22:22

could be up to three months, depending where you live. You know, but

Vita Oyler  22:27

yeah. Well, it’s awesome because you can

Manon Bolliger  22:31

travel. Yeah, thank you for that. Because I, you know, I’ve not really seen incurable diseases, you know, in my practice, the names. Yes, I can recognize what you know, modern or whatever you want to pharmaceutical medicine will say, you know. And then I know that some, I mean, like they say, MS is not curable. Well, that’s not true, you know. They say cancer is not curable. Well, that’s not true, you know.

Vita Oyler  23:02

True.

Manon Bolliger  23:03

And you know, and I haven’t had enough experience, you know, with with your condition to say, oh, it’s curable, but I can’t see why things are not.

Vita Oyler  23:14

I know, right?

Manon Bolliger  23:16

So I always have that sense that I may not know the method yet, or there’s something you know it’s out there, right? So, so that’s how I’ve always felt, which keeps me positive, you know. And I think that helped with my patients. You could say, “Oh, that’s like just wishful thinking, but no, if you really believe it, then you’re opening that field of possibilities. I agree

Manon Bolliger  23:47

with you.

Vita Oyler  23:48

Agree with you, 100% Yeah, it’s it’s it’s when you know because when you’re out there and then people say it’s oh, there’s no cure for it. You you you become it’s negative. Of

Manon Bolliger  24:04

course, you

Vita Oyler  24:05

don’t you don’t have that hope anymore. No, I see that, and it’s like you know I I I believe that there’s there’s hope. There’s always hope. Don’t give up on hope,

Manon Bolliger  24:18

right? And we don’t know, you know all the magic of how we’re made. You know we don’t, we really don’t understand. I mean, you know they’re calling the part of DNA they don’t they don’t understand as junk DNA. You know what a funny name. Yeah, for a bigger part than the DNA. They do. They

Vita Oyler  24:41

yeah yeah do.

Manon Bolliger  24:42

do understand you know so it’s like you know fascia has just become a thing in the last what 20 years maybe 30 you know like so much is not known right so how and and in a society not based on heal. And really suppressed healing. You know, many. If you look at our history, much of the great modalities of of healing suppressed

Vita Oyler  25:12

modalities. Yeah, I think sometimes a lot of the they’re kind of some of the treatments are kind of archaic. I think sometimes it’s just like you know. Look at there’s bitter things. I’ve heard of things going on in Europe that are, you know, doing doing better than we are actually

Vita Oyler  25:35

in in that. And and I have some cousins that are doctors up in in Europe, and they’re saying, “Oh, Dita, why don’t you come out here and you know maybe we’ll find a cure. Okay, but I’m okay right now. Thank you.

Manon Bolliger  25:55

Yeah. No, it’s quite a quite a journey. Yeah. I

Vita Oyler  26:01

no I. for me though, I’m you know I know I I I just want to help others like you. You’re you’re doing fabulous work, and and we need people like you, you know, to to help us to help.

Manon Bolliger  26:18

It’s the community. Yeah,

Commercial Break  26:20

huh?

Manon Bolliger  26:23

Yeah. No. I think it it it also helps to talk about it, you know, which is why I’m doing the, you know, the podcast and you know what are what are people’s true experiences, you know.

Vita Oyler  26:35

Yeah. Is

Manon Bolliger  26:36

you know what can be done or what’s the next step? Like you know, you you mentioned maybe three times, you know, pat yourself on the shoulder or the back or whatever the expression is in English, but the idea is acknowledge what you can do, can do it, because we’re not really brought up that way, you know. So and then they say I don’t know 90% of our thoughts are negative. I don’t know what what study that is, but whatever. Like

Vita Oyler  27:08

yeah, you know, ignore them. Yeah, and I see it. You know how we how we speak and and and not just with pain. It’s just I can’t. I hear that, and I go, you know, people just they I can’t, I can’t do that, or I won’t. Right, you know, I can’t do that. I I don’t want to do that, or why not? I mean, that’s not what makes you want to say that, or you know, I don’t ask why because of why you’ll never get an answer.

Manon Bolliger  27:44

No, no, and I think too the other is sort of the connection with their body. It’s like you found what worked for you through a series of testing this and that, and that didn’t work, and that didn’t feel right, or you know, and it’s the same. At least how I see positivity, it’s not necessarily the thought, right? It’s um, it it can just be the hormone. Like I’m in the habit of of smiling as I as I see the universe, and I can’t help but everything feels really friendly or beautiful. I’m just like you. That’s why I was going. Oh, I just I love her smile and everything. But but that actually feels good, right? And and then you’re not making it up. You’re just the way you’re connecting.

Vita Oyler  28:40

That’s right,

Manon Bolliger  28:42

right, and and so people have a hard time thinking. Oh, I got to think positive. I don’t think at all. You know,

Vita Oyler  28:49

1. You know, it just comes naturally. You know, you look at things, and people have asked. You know, they have asked. Well, why are you so positive? Because that’s the way it is. No, but you know, you but you can you can work at some things like in counseling. You know, look at things for people people that I work with and even our support groups. You know, I hear the can I can’t do that, or it didn’t work for me. Well, you know, let’s change that that vocabulary. Okay, find something that you can do. Pat yourself on the shoulder, on your head. Do something positive for yourself. Well, I don’t have anything positive? Okay, we’re going to talk about this. Yeah,

Manon Bolliger  29:46

yeah,

Vita Oyler  29:47

yeah. I agree. But

Manon Bolliger  29:48

it does. It comes to like a lot of it to appreciation, right?

Vita Oyler  29:52

Appreciation, being great,

Manon Bolliger  29:54

being grateful. Yeah,

Vita Oyler  29:56

that’s what I always tell people. Yeah. Be grateful. I mean, be grateful.

Manon Bolliger  30:03

I mean,

Vita Oyler  30:03

look at what you’ve done, or what you’re doing, or what you have.

Manon Bolliger  30:08

Right.

Vita Oyler  30:08

Be grateful for that.

Manon Bolliger  30:10

Yeah.

Vita Oyler  30:10

You know what? That’s going to bring a smile to you. That’s going to make that positivity

Manon Bolliger  30:18

right

Vita Oyler  30:18

grow with you. But

Manon Bolliger  30:19

that-that’s the physiological takeover, right? That’s when the that’s when the hormones kick in.

Vita Oyler  30:25

That’s right,

Manon Bolliger  30:26

and then you don’t have to think about it. You just have no.

Vita Oyler  30:29

You just do

Manon Bolliger  30:31

it exactly. Anyway, we’re our time’s up. Just I’m going to leave you with the the last words, maybe the title of your book or how people can reach you.

Vita Oyler  30:42

Oh yeah, gosh, thank you. The book is called “Got Pain Now What, and it’s a journey through living with chronic pain, and it could get a hold of me at navigating through pain. And I have Another website, actually, now it’s just being set up, and it’s called gentlestepsforward.com. So you know, they could always leave a little message, and or you know, you could email me at the navigating through [email protected].

Manon Bolliger  31:20

Okay.

Vita Oyler  31:21

Yeah.

Manon Bolliger  31:22

Great. Well, thank you very much for sharing your. Oh my

Vita Oyler  31:25

gosh! Thank you so very much. I’m very grateful to have met

Manon Bolliger  31:29

you. Well, it takes a village. Thanks.

Ending

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