Emotional Health Begins with Feeling Your Emotions – Yanira Puy on The Healers Café with Manon Bolliger

process. I don’t know. Am I rambling?

 

Manon Bolliger  04:38

No, no, no, no. No, it’s actually what a lot of people are going through currently as well. Because now that we’re, you know, we’re waking up to the reality that we’ve been, you know, I would say lied to, by so many levels that we don’t have to get into the levels and into about what otherwise probably this will get banned. But the point is that people are asking questions on another whole level. Like, what is the point of life? What is, you know, what’s all this about? Right? So, what I’d be curious, obviously, you didn’t have a methodology, when you were hit in the middle of all this, right? Like you basically, for lack of a better word, you kind of made it up as you went, it was the journey. Right? So maybe what were the steps? Like, how did you…you know, you so you got divorced, you got laid off? You know, it’s like, Oh, my God, what’s going on? And, you know, divorces can be sometimes good, sometimes bad. But I think in your case, you had told me prior that, you know, you found out you were not loved, which is a very hard thing to hear. You know, and then, so what happens next? How did you take yourself in your own hands to do what you’re currently doing?

 

Yanira Puy  06:14

Yeah, that’s beautiful. But I want to go back, because, as I mentioned before, Adversity is going to happen to us at all times. And I remember being 18. And I was here in Atlanta, Georgia, in the United States learning English. I hope, you know, they did a good job with me, or I did a good job. So, you can all understand. But so, I was learning English. And my parents, I was 18. So, I was a kid. And my parents were paying for me to come here and learn language, right? So, I didn’t like, went out with the Latin people. I just, I didn’t want to speak Spanish. So, I was I really wanted to learn English in a way and not to say, Hey, how are you? But like, Hey, how are you, you know, trying to sound nice, and the reason I mentioned this motto is that I remember being in a bathroom and throwing up. And I was bulimic. And I didn’t understand it back then. But I was bulimic for a reason because I was not getting the social relationship. And like fast forward several years. I, you know, I had a, I had a job offer, I came back here to the United States to get my MBA degree. And I lost a job because I didn’t have the paperwork, right, like the visa and everything. And with all this debt, and every time I would talk to people, I was like, oh, did you find a job yet? Did you find a job yet, and I didn’t want to talk to anybody. So, I socially distanced myself. And then fast forward. And I know there is a point to all of this. But fast forward some years, you know, I’m in a quest for looking for meaning. And I, you know, I found a job later, and I did all the things that I wanted to do. And then I didn’t know how to deal with emotional things that were going on with my husband, and my ex-husband, and my family. And I started with headaches, you know, and I didn’t know what it was.

 

Manon Bolliger  08:34

Headaches, you’re saying.

 

Yanira Puy  08:35

Headaches. Yeah. migraine. So up until I actually talk to my headaches. Like I talked to myself in front of a mirror and went to therapy to talk about it. Like, I went to doctors, and nothing was going like, nothing was wrong with me. But of course, there was something wrong. And they were giving me pills and everything. So and then the divorce. So of course, I’m 50. So, this happens, like, in several years, you know, but I wanted to talk about it because of the importance of knowing yourself, knowing that you’re human, knowing that with the right tools, you can hear yourself. And when I asked for help, and you were asking, So what are the tools, so I asked for help. I never stopped exercising or eating right. But if I wanted to, like just rest and just to like, you know, like, lay there and cry. I did it because you need to accept your emotion and what happened to me when I had the migraines, it was because I wasn’t accepting my emotion. I was sad. I was angry. I was disappointed. I didn’t know how to deal with the situation. So, what did I do? I did what women do. Oh, I’m strong. I can do it. You know what? It’s okay. It’s okay to listen to yourself to be sad and the last part of it, the divorce, which is the most recently, it was beautiful because I had the chance to feel everything that I needed to feel. All the disappointment, all the rage, I was angry, I was sad. And it didn’t matter. And sometimes I was working out like too much. And sometimes I didn’t. And sometimes I was eating too much. And some days, I didn’t, but I knew I was gonna get there. But I needed to experience the whole thing. And then I started, I look for help. This is why we’re like healers, coaches, I have a coach, you know, in Colombia, I have a coach. And for this, I went to therapy again. And it helps. So, when you know how to get to your balance to this place, it everything changes. And now sometimes, and I don’t know if I should be saying this, but sometimes I feel like I’m too high. Because I’m all the time happy and smiling. And my friends are like, Oh, you’re like to positive, like, positive. And it’s not like I’m not sad sometimes, like this weekend is like, oh my god, like, am I gonna find somebody again? Like being 50? But then I’m like, yes. I mean, look at the past, you have done it every single time and every man is better. So, I’m like, Yes, I’m ready for the next one. So, it’s a mindset, what do I do, I exercise every day I eat, right, I meditate every day. I’m very in touch with my emotions, and my thoughts. We have like 60,000 thoughts a day. And 90% of times, they’re like the same ones. Like for yesterday, today, and tomorrow and 80% are negative. So, the only way to change your mindset to be more positive is to be aware of those. And for that you need to be mindful, right? I have a lot to say. So, um, I keep talking. You know, you bring, you know, very, I think very important points, you know, in, in anyone who’s looking for, you know, they don’t know where to start. First is ask for help, you know, I think it doesn’t deny that you individually end up doing all the work, of course. Of course.

 

Manon Bolliger  12:36

But having a support group or a support person or an accountability person, I think that that’s a very smart thing not to do it in isolation. But as you did the first time around in social isolation, just move yourself apart, which I think has been strangely comfortable for too many people. You know, they’ve sort of been Oh, it’s fine, you know, just I’ll forget about the rest of the world and, you know, etc. So I think it’s very good. That’s a good starting point, you know, and then, and then the second part, where I see that, I agree, it’s like, it’s the self-care and self-love. So not to neglect yourself at all, you know, you are still in charge of you. You have to take responsibility. You know, that’s also a really important point. And then the third point, what did you say again?

 

Yanira Puy  13:41

Meditation maybe?

 

Manon Bolliger  13:43

No, no, because that’s a way you self-care. It’s a way that you stay focused. And then your relationship? Well, it’s part of the relationship to yourself, you know, that thoughts aren’t that useful sometimes, so you have to look at them and stand apart from them. But what was the third angle? You had, like three phases? I could feel?

 

Yanira Puy  14:06

I think maybe like, the other part would be emotional, like

 

Manon Bolliger  14:10

Emotional. That’s it. Yeah. And actually, that was the most important one.

 

Yanira Puy  14:14

Because I have a good story after you speak. I have a good story that happened to me.

 

Manon Bolliger  14:18

Okay. Okay. No, and I think that’s also very rare that people you know, if you feel your emotions, a lot of people say, oh, you know, you’re just digging in, but I think it’s just allowing them, you know, allowing them to be there and going through the process, you know, and I have found that so many times, it’s like, let the emotion go through you. Because if you suppress it, you’re gonna have symptoms, you know, and then for you to recognize that your headaches are a symptom of suppressing your emotion. Exactly. And you know, you go to a doctor, but they aren’t trained to understand that level right. They’ll, they won’t even tell you to drink more water, maybe. It’s like take pills, you know. So. So I think that’s, you know, anyone who has any issues like that? Where is the symptom coming from? And are their emotions attached to it? Right? So go on with their emotions.

 

Commercial Break  15:20

Manon Bolliger here and I want to thank you for taking actionable steps towards engaging your healing journey, and helping others discover their path by watching, sharing, subscribing, and reviewing these podcasts. Every review and share helps spread the word these different perspectives and choices and options for healing. And to thank you, I’d like to invite you to sign up to my free seven sequence email tips on health and healing for everyday life. You can go to healerscafe.com/tips. Thanks so much.

 

Yanira Puy  16:03

This is a funny story. It wasn’t that funny when it happened. But okay, so this is I moved back to Atlanta. So, I have my condo here. And I see life in a very positive way. So, I came back, and then a pipe burst. And I had to change my apartment. But it was good. Because this was my condo for like, I don’t know, 15 years ago, so I got the chance to remodel it. And it’s a new one, right? So, I’m like, right now, because of all that happened because I learned how to be detach. And so material things, they don’t mean that much. And I mean life goes on. So, it’s like everything is white. I had to put this flat here for you guys today. Everything is white and gray. Like, everything is clean, like people come here and they really liked the space. So, I thought I need a new closet. After like talking to three different people. I loved this girl. She was so sweet. She spent two hours with me. And she saw the closet up until like, we had the closet like the right way. Anyway, somebody comes to the closet, installed a closet, like last month. And then I see the closet and like it has holes everywhere. Like the panels. It has holes. I didn’t, I didn’t get it. And I know you’re gonna get it at some point. But so, it has so many holes. And I call I call her and I’m like, Hey, you lied to me. This is not what I signed up for, like the render, like the pictures, they didn’t look like that it has so many holes is just like I don’t understand this is so you can move the you know, the panels like, up or down? I’m like, no, because I already planned the closet with you. So, I’m like this Manon, like, I cannot talk to you anymore. Again, don’t do any more. So, I hang up the call. And I call like I didn’t know who to call, right? Because my brother has done so many things for me that I’m like, I cannot call him for this. So, I call my contractor he has not worked here. And he’s very nice. And he’s like, Oh, no, like, all the panels are like that, like. So, the person who actually sold me a closet was very emotional, too. So, she sent me a text saying, I’m so sorry for being emotional. I shouldn’t have done that. And I’m like, Look, I am sorry, this is not about the holes in the closet. This is me doing things by myself after seven years with a person that was my support in some things. And it was beautiful. And this happened in like 20 minutes, right? And I realized, I mean I cry, but then I laughed in all my friends is like I’m in a $3 million house. Look at all the holes. And I’m like, I am so sorry about this. But my point with this story is that you guys understand that we have emotions and when we know what they come from, we are able to manage them, and they don’t control ourselves. So, I could be after months saying all the holes there in the closet or I understand what happened to me and ask for forgiveness and say I’m sorry. This is what happened. I just it’s not that I feel lonely, but I’m alone. Yeah, it’s a fact. You know? So, it was beautiful that it was beautiful. So, I wanted to tell you guys this story.

 

Manon Bolliger  20:00

So, but the point of the story then is more that sometimes our emotions are displaced as in, right? You’re, you’re really hurting in another way. And you’re taking it out on this woman who gave you a cupboard with holes. But they were holes that apparently all covers have. So, so it’s kind of like just being conscious of…yet taking charge of our emotions. Yeah, so one level is letting them be letting them go. Second Level is taking charge of them, and recognizing what they replace. And any other thoughts you have about emotions that you’ve experienced?

 

Yanira Puy  20:49

You need to accept them, and you need to feel them. Because I love what you said before. You said something like you, you have to go through it. And I have a quote here. I know, I saw it on a show, I think on My Girl, maybe. But it says like, the only way to go through it is to go through it. So, I spend a lot of my life saying no, I’m strong. I’m a woman, you know, I travel around the world, I was the marketing director for this company. So, I could do a lot of things. So, I stopped myself from feeling sometimes or to actually like, I didn’t want people to see me. So, I’m right now, I would say to people, be true to yourself, whatever you feel, you know, like, feel it, you need to feel it. Because the only way to go through this experience that you’re having right now, this adversity that you’re having is that you need to experience it. And when you experience it, like with all your heart, and old emotions. It doesn’t have to be bad; it could be joy, it could be regret, it doesn’t matter. But just experience it from your heart, and then let it go. I think it would be the last time I saw something that I really like Manon. And it was something that sometimes I feel like, we put all our energy on something. So, like, I could be like I talk about my ex-husband, because it was an amazing experience. Like being with him, it was amazing. He gave me a family, dogs, kids and everything. But what happened after it gave me so much learning. That’s the way I see it. So, you need to feel the emotions you need to separate but you need to let them go. And I’m going to put the example of a tree, right? When if you guys have seasons, you know sometimes like in spring, we see all these leaves, and then fall, they start to fall. So, letting go is like the tree that it doesn’t put the energy on those leaves it just let the leaves go. And it puts that energy in maybe in growing in, you know, like doing something else. So, it is important to let go to like everything, what happens to us, it’s not, why me why me? No, let’s think about what for? Why did this happen to me. What do I need to learn? I learned about detachment. Beautiful, beautiful, I that was beautiful. And now I’m more connected with myself because I think we as women, and I don’t know if you feel that way, but sometimes we lose ourselves, with family and with, you know, with everything because we have so many hats, like really were like, top here. And it gives me the chance to know who I really was because I lost myself with the kids and everything. And now I’m like, you know, I’m important. I’m the priority. When every time you go on a plane, if they tell you if something happens, put your mask first and then everybody else. So, you need to work on you. So, everybody else can be okay around you. So that would be like the last one. Don’t put your energy for too long in things that don’t make you happy. Don’t make the person who you are. I don’t know. Does that make sense?

 

Manon Bolliger  24:48

Yeah, no, no, I think so. And the idea of yeah, it’s like, if the leaves are going brown, they’re going to fall. That’s not where you should focus. So, it makes sense, you know, there are things that fall by the wayside, because that’s how nature means that or how life means that and, you know, and to draw the lessons. I think that’s a…it’s a good reframe on looking at life, you know, to say, What have I learned from this? You know, what has it taught me? As opposed to taking the Oh, poor me, this happened to me, right? It’s that again, from victim to awakened person, right. So, like, we have two minutes left, so…

 

Yanira Puy  25:39

Okay, oh my God. I am so nervous what do I say in two minutes.

 

Manon Bolliger  25:46

So, now you’re coaching people, with the process that, that you discovered in Italy, and with the help you received? And how, how is that for you? And what can you say about what your life is like, now?

 

Yanira Puy  26:07

I am going to say, in spite of my friends, my life is amazing. Because I changed my mindset. And that’s what I guide people, like, teach people, or, you know, we work together, I just finished a process with a girl. And it was beautiful, like seeing with the right tools, and you set up before the process is yours. It’s not, you know, I’m here to help. You’re here to help whoever you need to do the job. If you don’t do the job, like, I’m sorry. Like, it’s not going to happen. It’s like, this is like going to the gym, and you know, oh, building some muscles, because you’re doing weights, right? But for me, it’s been amazing. Like, every time I see changes in people, like I think it was two weeks ago, I was teaching older adults in Latin American association. And so, they write to me over Instagram saying, Please, can you send me the presentation, so I can do everything that you did about like Brene Harold. So, this girl, when I saw after 10 sessions, everything that she did was like, wow, I mean, intense. I just, I wouldn’t have done that for sure. Like, I needed more. So for me, it’s a learning process. Like every time I see that, it’s like I’m in the right path. This is we’re here to guide you. You, have if you like you there you are listening and watching or watching. You have everything that you need in you. That’s it. We just give you like one tool here, one tool there. And then you’re a miracle because all of you are a miracle. We are all different, we’re so unique. And we came here to this life to be happy. We just distract ourselves from so many things that are going on. But you have the power. I mean, really you have the power. I do believe that.

 

Manon Bolliger  28:17

I think you will live with that. Anyway, thank you very much for taking time to discuss this experience in your life and how you came to love your life.

 

Yanira Puy  28:29

Thank you.

ENDING: 41:33

Thank you for joining us at the Healers Café with Manon Bolliger. Continue your healing journey by visiting TheHealersCafe.com and her website and discover how to listen to your body and reboot optimal health or DrManonBolliger.com/tips.