Empowering Women with Holistic Health with Aeryon Ashlie on The Healers Café with Manon Bolliger

being 25 years.

 

Manon Bolliger 02:19

Wow.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 02:20

In my later teens, or my early 20s, I started doing fitness competitions. And I competed for 13 years. And that became a glorified eating disorder for me. I was praised for looking as shredded as possible. And everybody was, you know, amazement. However, the day the show would end I’d fall back into that bulimic tendency. And that continued on for 13 years. And the only time I didn’t struggle with it when was when I was competing. So, I would compete four to five times a year. So, I was constantly always in this prep mode, right and always battling my body and always really struggling with food. In that time as well, I was on hormonal birth control. So, all of this kind of sums up to my health crisis that happened about 10 years ago. And so about 10-12, 10-11 years ago now, I still was kind of in the throes of it trying to really work through it. And I kind of had another episode I went upstairs and the difference this time was my three-year-old knocked at the door. And I kind of as I rose up and looked at my reflection, I was like if I don’t get a hold of this, she’ll follow the same footsteps, she’ll have issues with food, she’ll have issues with her body and exercise. And so, at that point, I really made a commitment to start working on what true Holistic Health meant to me. And it no longer became the size of my pants and how much I was working out or how much macros I was having every day. It really started to look at…I started to look at more closely into cognitive behavioral therapy. I started working with counselors, I started really looking at the thoughts that were really inhabiting my brain every day that surrounded food and my body and who I wanted to be in the world. And so, it took me a couple years and I worked through all that and then at the same time I had been working in the vitamin industry for almost 13 years I had and award-winning career as a vitamin salesperson. And every day I sold vitamins that were, you know, created by men and in the male dominated retail space and packaged up and marketed to women. And less than 5% of supplement companies are owned by women. And I was packaged out by this company, and I had all of these other pillars. So, I’ll talk about the pillars, but all the pillars that I had come to, with my holistic journey of healing, and then the one thing that was kind of missing was the supplement into things, having supplements are really designed for women by women. And it when I got packaged out, I rolled the dice and took the money that I was given for my package. And I opened my brand, Aeryon Wellness. So, I started my own supplement company, and we’re a female focus supplement company, we are the only female focused…female 100% female owned company in Canada, there is nobody else but us, which is for me, which is really neat. And we continue to look at ways in which we can support women creating innovative new products, but also to support them with the five pillars that I have used for my own healing journey. Because it’s not just supplements, right? It really is. Yeah, the five pillars of the brand, I’ll kind of tell you them quickly, but the five pillars are the thoughts you think…

 

Manon Bolliger 06:14

Before you go there, what’s the main difference on supplements when you say these are supplements made by women, you know, for a woman? What is it that you saw like that’s missing or missing the mark or, you know, what was the most overlooked items in the supplements that…

 

Aeryon Ashlie 06:40

I think a lot of it is clinical dosages is one of the things they ingredients having clinical doses. And really looking at, you know, when you can put an ingredient in but to have the clinical dose, then you’re gonna have the scientific claims you can make, especially here in Canada, we have NPN, which, thank goodness we do, I would never buy any supplements from anywhere else. But in Canada, to be quite honest with you. We’re very, very strict in our supplement guidelines, but really making sure that they have clinical doses. And also, really, the messaging behind the brand is not this is no magic pill like and I’m very clear on that. And I always really struggled with that with the industry is take this and everything’s going to be better. What we really look at what the brand is we have a QR code on every single product that leads you to a complete program for you just start really making the necessary changes to have sustainable health and wellness in whatever area you’re really struggling with. And I think that was the big part too and creating more conversations for women regarding especially menopause. That’s a big topic right now perimenopause really getting the stigma away from being able to have these open conversations about how do we support ourselves besides supplementation, but with all facets, you know, with the five pillars that we use.

 

Manon Bolliger 07:48

So, is there more of an emphasis or realization of the role that hormones play for a woman and the supplements that are given?

 

Aeryon Ashlie 07:58

Well, there’s more conversation in the fact that it’s not just a supplement, right, we really look at for example, with our hormonal support product. When you scan the QR code, not only do you get two meal plans, vegan and non, but we also really go into the four phases of a woman’s cycle, educating them kind of biohacking your cycle, when are you your most optimum self, when you’re your best positioning to be presenting? When are you like, really being able to look at our cycles as more of a guide as to how we interact in the world and how we can utilize that to be our best selves day to day. And then I mean, we go everything from PMS, we talk about you know, our gut health, we talk about all these different facets that are really going to help find more hormonal balance. It’s not just taking Reclaim, right, it’s moving your body having sweat making sure you’re going to the bathroom on a regular basis, all these different things, looking at the skincare products, makeup, cleaners that we’re using in our household, taking a look at those as well for the Xeno estrogens. So, it’s more of creating a conversation about the broader picture also. So, it’s looking at the supplement side of things. But then also what else can you do in your life to create more balance?

 

Manon Bolliger 09:05

Okay, well, let’s go to…so if you had to choose the pillar most important to start with, is there one?

 

Aeryon Ashlie 09:13

They are I have them in order. Yeah. So, it’s the first one is the thoughts you think, okay. And the reason I say that is you can take all the ashwagandha in the world, but if you are in a fear based negative state of mind, and if that story or racket or whatever you want to call it in your head is a constant negative narrative, you’re not going to be motivated to work out, you’re not gonna be motivated to take care of body to eat well. To enhance like, it’s the most important thing. And that was something when I went through my healing journey I really had to, and I still have to use that I use cognitive behavioral therapy a lot. But I had to really shift the way my mind thought about food thought about exercise, right? So, I think that’s to me, that’s always been the biggest thing because once and I mean it was so interesting is that you know, every time we think a thought our brains releasing chemicals, and if you think, a negative self-depreciating, thought, for example, that actually your brain light almost like almost dims, right? You create more cortisol, which is that stress hormone, you think positive, hopeful, optimistic thoughts, your body will create more serotonin, which is what you want, which, like, so you look at how just important that one process is. And when I do my talks, you know, I say to people, you might not be able to go home tonight and do a meal plan or start taking your products right away. But what you can do in this exact moment is anytime those thoughts show up, have a thought that combats it, right, that comes back with a positive thought. And it’s like working out and over time, it gets easier and easier and easier. You know, so.

 

Manon Bolliger 10:42

So, the approach that you mostly use is cognitive therapy for the mental stuff, like do you do any sort of like hypnotherapy or any of the unconscious stuff that we carry on without knowing that we do.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 11:00

I mean, we try to be pretty, if I’m on, like, to a surface level stuff, I mean, in the sense of really just paying attention to your thoughts, we have daily affirmations on every single one of the products. So, we’re looking at more of those type of things. I mean, obviously hypnotherapy and all those other things are fantastic, but we just kind of look at just the thoughts you’re thinking. So that’s, we just kind of keep it a little bit more surface level for that one.

 

Manon Bolliger 11:24

But also, you know, the journey as you as you, you know, personally, is different for everyone. Right. And so sometimes starting at something like, Okay, deal with your thoughts can lead you to go…

 

Aeryon Ashlie 11:39

Oh, 100%. 100%

 

Manon Bolliger 11:41

Yeah, so you have to start somewhere. Yeah. And it’s less threatening?

 

Aeryon Ashlie 11:47

It’s a little easier, I think to, right? Is when I do my talks, I always ask, like, what’s the one story or narrative that’s been in your head that, you know, and especially when it comes to weight loss that’s a big one for you not, I’m not good, I’ll never lose the weight. Okay, well, I never lose the weight. What does that leave you with? And then it’s like, and what does that feeling give you? What is that action gives you and so really being able to have people look at what that one thought can really…what that what that really does for them achieving their goals or living their best life, right? And so, learning how to, okay, you know, I’ll never lose the weight. I, you know, I’m happy and healthy, where I’m at, and I’m going to be better or whatever the thought is that you want to shift that to right, and so really changing that narrative can then have a direct impact on them and their day to day, if they keep it up. It’s like everything, you know, for one day and say, I would see results. So, you really have to keep working at it.

 

Manon Bolliger 12:38

And something within reach that you actually believe. Right? Like, you know, with thoughts, because sometimes if you impose this thing, I will be skeleton thin and you know, like a commercial, you’re so disconnected from it. But every cell in your body doesn’t believe that it’s possible.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 12:55

Very true. Very, very true. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s yeah, so that’s the first pillar. And that’s, that’s the first one.

 

Manon Bolliger 13:04

And number two?

 

Aeryon Ashlie 13:05

Number two, thoughts you think, the friends you keep. A support network we have around us, the people that are in our lives. You know, one of the things I remember if I think back for a lot of the talks I’ve given and I was a trainer and a holistic nutritionist for many years working with people, was a lot of women, because I dealt with more women would come to me and say, No, my husband just eats whatever he wants, and he’s always bringing food home, and he’s sabotaging me, or you know, I go with my friends, they all want to. And so not saying you can’t have those people in your life. But if you’re really trying to have a goal of health and wellness, then surrounding yourself with people who are also on that same journey is really important as well. And I guess having boundaries with it, it’s like having maybe a family member that’s really super negative. Yes, you can still love them and see them occasionally. But you create a little bit more of a boundary to protect you from the negativity. So really looking at the people that you have in your life. And are they people who uplift you and champion you and want the best for you? Or are they people that kind of suck your energy from you and aren’t people who you know, encourage you to be your best self. So, I think that’s a really important one. Thoughts you think, friends you keep. Movement, moving your body every day, doesn’t have to be hardcore, hit exercises in the gym, you can go for a walk, walking is one of the best type of exercises and you can do with friends you can hit off two of those, you know two of those pillars right there with one shot. But movement is really important, especially for women as we get older. You know, we look at perimenopause, we look at going into menopause, making sure you have that lean muscle tissue is really, really important, especially with weight bearing exercises and osteoporosis and as our hormones start changing. So, to me a big thing is, is movement. I mean I really encourage women to lift weights, I think that’s really important. But movement is that’s the that’s the third one.

 

Manon Bolliger 14:56

And what like walking, what works? In your experience.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 15:04

Whatever works.

 

Manon Bolliger 15:05

An hour ,what is…

 

Aeryon Ashlie 15:07

I think whatever you can do, I think as it depends on where you’re at, I mean, I go to the gym every morning at 530. And I’m there for an hour, and I do cardio and I lift weights every day. And I do spend three times, but I, I’ve been training since I was 16. This is just part of who I am, right? And somebody who’s starting out at a different point is not, that’s not going to be what they’re gonna want to do. Right? So, if they can go for a walk for thirty minutes, at the end of the day, if when they’re sitting watching TV, you know, do they have some little free weights? Or some bands? Can they do some bicep curls in between commercials? Right? Can they do some crunches can they do things that becomes so it’s not so daunting that they don’t want to do it and they give up on it? Right or pickleball my mother plays pickleball like four times a week, she loves it. So, finding something if you don’t like the gym, even a sport or activity that maybe you liked as a child that you could do. Swimming, whatever it is for you. And I think creating that, that relationship with movement, where it’s my opportunity to give thanks to the universe, that I get to move this body today that I exist, that I’m healthy, that I can wiggle my finger, I do this thing and my talks, and I get every to hold their finger up. And I’m like, you know, like, your brain tells your pinky to move before it moves. I mean, like, that’s really unbelievable. And we have to really start thriving and living in a space of how grateful we are for this body. Because somewhere somebody right now would give anything to be able to do that. Right? So we can get caught up on our own stuff and be like, meh, I don’t fit a size, 10 man, but at the end of the day, you get to move and so using that as a way of giving thanks right is a big a big thing for me, I really had to shift that mentality, especially coming off of doing competitions, where I’m training for three, four hours a day to go down to even an hour a day some people like you train for an hour a day? I’m like what I used to train for so coming to that relationship for an hour for me and still appreciate and loving my body was a was work for me to get to that point. Right. So yeah.

 

Commercial Break 17:01

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Aeryon Ashlie 17:43

Yeah, that’s the that’s the fourth one. No third one.

 

Manon Bolliger 17:48

Nutrition I think was your…

 

Aeryon Ashlie 17:49

Yes, nutrition is my fourth and the food we eat. I mean, I think when I do the perimenopause, I have a Perimenopause talk that I’m doing quite a bit right now. And it kind of I feel like I’m always dry. Like I’m repeating the exact same thing you know, you’re moving you drink your water, you need to, you know, thoughts you think and gut health and, and food. And it’s kind of same thing through every wellness talk that you give, it’s all kind of the same stuff, right? We are what we eat, but we are also what we digest too. So that’s another conversation. But really ensuring that you’re having great food. And I think living by the 80-20 rule has enabled that for me, really, you know, 80% of time, I eat really great food. And on weekends. If I want licorice, and I want a glass of wine and I want to go with my friends and have a great meal I let myself do that. Weekends, what works for me, that’s my 80% and 20% for somebody else might look like a daily thing, having you know, a cookie at the end of the day, whatever it is for them. But I think anytime you land in restriction, and I’ve seen this over the years with like the Keto movement, keto was so big, and I did a lot of keto talks too. And even when I did keto talks, I really struggled with it. And I would say to the audience, anytime you restrict something so heavily, it’s not sustainable. It’s just not. Like some people may be like the percentage of people that can live that way. 20 fourths, it’s, it’s so minuet so finding a happy medium where that 80-20 rule where you allow yourself some things you’re kind of compassionate to yourself, you’re not at war with food, you’re enjoying what you’re eating, you know. So, nutrition definitely is number four and then fifth would be supplementation, and then that would be our wellness.

 

Manon Bolliger 19:28

So, yeah, so sounds like I mean sounds a complete, you know, starting point to be able to shift where a person was stuck, but when you look back at your own struggle. How did you stop the bulimia for example, how did you like, I’m just trying to talk to I mean, I’ve had plenty of patients and it’s, you know, even though I understand fully the pillars, and they make perfect sense, how do you get a person who’s just going…this has got to come out of me to make the leap of, whoa, I’ve got to look. And let me start with really straightforward, you know, supportive, simple things I can manage and do, right? I mean, how do you bridge that?

 

Aeryon Ashlie 20:28

I mean, one of the things I did was I really reflected on in my book ‘Bulimia to Balance’, I go through exercises, that is one of the biggest things I do is I began to look, the only time ever, I didn’t have episodes is when I was competing. And that’s because it was so structured, and I operate very well in structure. A lot of time with bulimia is not necessarily, it’s an interesting relationship between control and loss of control. Because I control, I’m very in control of everything I do in my life. And the one time I would allow myself to just, ah, was when I would overeat and binge. And I was just this sense of relief where I could just lose control. And the second I would begin to realize I was like, Oh, my God, and my anxiety would kick in, I have to get control back, right. And so, but what I began to look at when I never had that issue is when I was competing. So, what I did was I started I took everything out of my house that was a trigger. Popcorn, I didn’t make cake for years with my daughter, because cake batter was a big thing for me. I still at times, it’s funny, if I’m making a cake and I start going, I can start going faster. I’m like, Okay, I’ll like put it away. Like I’d go for a walk, I come back, I change my state, as Tony Robbins would say. And so, what I did was I started packing all my meals as I did when I was competing, and I made myself have my meals. Because one of the things with binging and purging or binging, if you’re a binge eater is the fact that you will not eat all day. And then you’re like, but I just you know, have a little bit more, too much too much. And then before you know it, you’re down the rabbit hole. So, I really was conscious of making myself have these meals every day. Now, they weren’t as restrictive, obviously, as I used to have when I was competing, because those were like no carbs at all. But that gave me some sense of control, which made me feel in control. And I began to slowly take back my workouts instead of doing it two hours every day just naturally. And I do longer than that when I was competing. But by taking that back by 15 minutes, like for me not to do a 45-minute cardio session was a really big thing for me, it was really hard for me to pull back to 30 minutes and not be sprinting the whole entire time. So, I was like, Okay, let’s try the elliptical. So really slowly taking my time with it took me a couple of years to come to a point. And I’m in a position I never thought I would be in I never thought I’d have an okay relationship with food. I still do you know Monday to Friday; I am pretty regimented in the sense of what I eat. I don’t you know; I don’t have cookies or cakes or anything like that weekend is when I’ll relax a little bit. But I also don’t go overboard anymore. Because I know I can have it if I really want it. So, the big thing was packing my meals, taking every single trigger out of my house. If I felt I started to feel triggered, what I began to do was change the way that I looked at my bulimia and I made bulimia my friend, because whenever I was in that state feeling like I want to lose control, there was something going on. And that’s why I was trying to lose control and get control because something in my life wasn’t in sync. And that’s something I’ve had to shift that instead of looking at her, my little bulimic Aeryon, as this horrible thing that I’m battling it was like, okay, she’s showing up to tell me something I’m not paying attention right now. And so, when she shows up now and my anxiety shows up, now I’m like, Okay, what am I not paying attention to? Am I not honoring something going on? Is there a personal relationship that I’m not paying attention to? And in business, am I not doing something with my daughter, whatever it may be, that’s when she shows up for me. So, I befriended her more than made her my enemy. And that was another big part of my toolbox.

 

Manon Bolliger 23:26

Those are both huge feats, you know, like, to, to understand aspects of your personality, you know, that that aspect control, loss of control, and then to use that to your benefit. Right. Like, that’s, that’s ingenious. I mean, it’s really great to, you know, and the and the second part that you just shared now, as well as to make friends with the little girl that you’re representing as well.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 24:39

And even with my we have addiction in my family, and when my mom when I when I wrote the book, we I mean, it was really therapeutic for both of us. But we had had that conversation and when I told her about the control, loss of control and just feeling like I could take a breath when I did that and then all of a sudden was like, oh my god, what have I done? And she never thought of it that way and she’s been a counselor for years and she was like, never thought about that way, like the control losing control completely she goes, I thought it was just more always wanting to be in control of food she goes, but now I can see it was an utter loss of control. And no matter what your addiction is. I mean, you can befriend it like even alcoholism, if you’re feeling that need to drink, there’s something showing up for you that you’re trying to resort to that or drugs or whatever the case may be. Right? What’s showing up for you in that moment that you are not honoring in yourself that you’re feeling that need that anxiety to have something to. So, and looking at different tools in that I mean, I still work out so and sometimes I think I’ve parlayed my little bit of anxiety into work because I love work so much, I could overwork at times. So, I can do that. But that was some of the big steps and having the grace and compassion towards myself that to know that I’m not perfect. And since that day in the, in the bathroom with the mirror was that the last time I ever binged and purged? No. But I can say probably on a handful of my hands like five times maybe since then. And that was over 10 years ago. Meanwhile, before it had, it would get into these cycles of sometimes two, three times a day. And I didn’t want to go out, I wouldn’t go out for dinners with people I didn’t want to be out because I’d be scared that I eat something and be triggered, and I’d want to get rid of it. So, I was so kind of terrified. I kind of made it my own little. So yeah, so and I think so having the grace and compassion to be like I’m human. Having this really incredible human experience that is hard. Being human is hard. It’s hard work, right trying to navigate everything. And so, allowing myself grace, if I mess up and to jump back on and just carry on. Right.

 

Manon Bolliger 26:48

Yeah, really thought provoking.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 26:52

I was gonna say I have a great mom. And we have a lot of conversations. And so, she’s been really instrumental in my growth, as well. And we read a lot together and kind of go back and forth and have these discussions. And so, and I have some, that’s the other thing too is having people I can talk to who challenge me on different ideas as well. So, for somebody who doesn’t have a support network, that’s another thing too, getting support, somebody you can talk to, without judgment, who will listen and hear and you know, and be compassionate with you. So, like, that’s something else. If you don’t have that, then having that would be an important part of the healing journey.

 

Manon Bolliger 27:32

It helps a lot because it’s hard to sometimes become your own observer and be one step ahead. You can see what you’ve done in hindsight, to actually feel it as it’s about to happen and decide to change course lovingly. Those are those are big challenges. And if you have people that love you and challenge you, you know, around, I think it certainly helps, you know. Yeah, but it’s anyway, I find it very insightful. Those three main points on the, the inside story of your experience with bulimia, you know. I think the control and loss of control, I’ve certainly seen and in, you know, in the people I’ve been able to help. But yeah, it’s very, it’s very…it’s very thoughtful. Okay, there we go.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 28:35

It is a really, it’s a really tricky thing, because it’s…nobody knows what’s going on. That’s the other thing too. It’s different with anorexia, you can see you can be like, hey, this person’s not eating, I can visually see what’s happening. Bulimia, most people have no idea. In fact, usually I was gaining weight because my body would absorb the calories either way. Right? So, and I knew this, but it was I would still just feel so triggered. I always wanted to fill myself up. So, it’s, that’s the other kind of hard part is it’s not a visual thing, or somebody looked like an alcoholic like, Hey, you’re always drunk. There seems to be an issue. Like you wouldn’t know we’re really good at it. We’re really good at hoarding food. And if you live on your own good luck ever finding out I can go to drive in to drive in to drive in all night long and nobody will ever know. Right? So, it really takes a lot of…my big catalysts, of course, was my daughter Mikayla. But it also was I was just so sick and tired of it. I was so sick and tired of this continuous battle and I just, I remember just being like, Is this ever going to end? Am I ever going to be okay with just eating a friggin cookie and not binging and losing control? Because I just couldn’t trust myself. And it’s taken me, and I’ve had moments in these past couple years so I’m like wow, like I can have, I can have a small piece of cake because cake is not my thing. But and I don’t have a sudden feel that, okay, we need to eat tons and get rid of it at all anymore. And I never thought it was possible. So, I’m definitely here as a person who’s been who’s on the other side to say it is possible. And it does take work. And it does. It takes time, right? It’s not an overnight thing.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:17

Yeah. And you mentioned the trusting yourself, right? Because that’s the thing is you have to experience it a few times to go, okay. You know, this big me can do this.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 30:30

Yeah, exactly. And the other thing, too, I did was, I didn’t drink for about a year, because drinking would always lower my inhibitions to want to binge that was something else too. So, I was really conscious of, I can’t drink. And I can’t. And that’s actually whenever I go through any life traumatic thing, if I break up with somebody, I don’t drink, like, I just take a break from anything that makes me not 100% myself.

 

Manon Bolliger 30:55

That’s the control part, right?

 

Aeryon Ashlie 30:56

Right. And that’s the control part too, but I just know that it’s not safe for me to be drinking, and then be like, Oh, I missed them. So. But with that, I was like, Okay, there’s no drinking. So that’s I can be really conscious of all my decisions that I’m making. So, there’s no excuse, like, oh, I had wine. So, I was hungry. Right. So that was another thing as well. And journaling. I mean, there’s, there’s so many things you can do, but yeah.

 

Manon Bolliger 31:19

Great. So, at this stage, back to your company, you have 500 stores.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 31:25

Well, we’re in 500 stores and counting across Canada. Yeah, Whole Foods and Amazon. And anywhere you go, we’ve got we’re launching two new products this month. CHFA. So, I’ve been in the industry for 20 years. But yeah, it’s been it’s an incredible ride. And I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to be doing. 100% I know that every day I wake up and this is where I’m supposed to be in the world. So, it’s a really, it’s a really incredible feeling. It’s scary at times because it’s so much work and it’s all me and I bootstrap the whole thing, but I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to do in the world. I know that for sure.

 

Manon Bolliger 32:04

Well, it was wonderful. Getting to meet you and hearing the inside story in the whole story.

 

Aeryon Ashlie 32:13

Thank you for having me.

 

ENDING: 41:33

Thank you for joining us at the Healers Café with Manon Bolliger. Continue your healing journey by visiting TheHealersCafe.com and her website and discover how to listen to your body and reboot optimal health or DrManonBolliger.com/tips.