The Battle Within: Understanding and Healing Through Hypnotherapy

changed my life. And it was like, a couple years later that I sort of sat down and decided, okay, I should be doing I was doing the mindset coaching. But then I realized, like, why haven’t I got my hypnotherapy certification yet? I’m so passionate about this, so I sort of buckled down. It was a year long, 500 hours, and I am so happy, because the year of studying it alone helped me so much. And to your testament of like willfulness versus like mindset. I used to always be that person who was like positive, or I have to be positive. I have to be…I need to believe in myself. And I always had that hope. But then there was this part of me that would always say my hope is like I almost resented that hope that I felt, and I realized it was this false positivity. I was being positive, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t believing in the positivity, not really. And it wasn’t until I started doing like the deep inner work, and doing this work with my subconscious that I was able to sort of give myself the power and give myself the control of, like my experience of reality. And I was able to kind of shift into not this like false confidence or this false positivity, where it was like, I’m relying on the hpe, but actually feeling like I have a grasp on, maybe not the world around me, but the way that I react and engage with the world, I started being able to like control that, and it made that made me more confident in myself, which, in turn, kind of I relied less on the hope or the willfulness, if that makes sense.

Manon Bolliger  05:29

Yeah, I know it does. Yeah. So, when…here, you’re sort of, in part through your own experience explaining, and then the difference is, one is, it’s a belief, but you’re not aligned with it fully.

Jennifer Neville  05:49

Yeah.

Manon Bolliger  05:50

Then there’s a story or another set of thoughts that contradict your statement.

Jennifer Neville  05:58

Yes

Manon Bolliger  05:59

Right? And then the contradicting statement negates it.

Jennifer Neville  06:05

Yes.

Manon Bolliger  06:06

Because you’re not true to yourself. You know.

Jennifer Neville  06:09

Exactly.

Manon Bolliger  06:10

Right?

Jennifer Neville  06:10

And a part of me, because that’s something that we practice in hypnotherapy. It’s called parts therapy, and it wasn’t that like exactly when you say a part of myself, there was a part of me that felt positive and hope, but then I was not acknowledging the part of me that was maybe scared and maybe didn’t have the proof of okay, you’re saying all these things, but it’s never worked out for us in the past, so I don’t trust the hope that you’re trusting, and it’s bringing those two parts of yourself into alignment, so that you know that part of me had something to trust, which ended up being myself.

Manon Bolliger  06:56

Right. So, so are you able to explain in a simple way, what that process is of joining what would appear to be contradictory, in a sense, equivalent but opposite viewpoints.

Jennifer Neville  07:14

Yeah, so in hypnotherapy, when we do a parts therapy session, it’s really cool, because it’s essentially going in and you’re talking to the part of you that self-sabotages, or you’re getting to the root of, like, who this part of you is. So say, if you know there’s a part of you that doesn’t like public speaking, or you freeze up every time, like, you can go in with parts therapy, and you can communicate directly to that part. And basically, you’re amplifying, there’s an intake process beforehand, and then you’re amplifying the emotions and calling that part to the surface while you’re under hypnosis, and interviewing that part and finding out, like, why it’s behaving the way it’s doing, why it’s sabotaging you, what’s it afraid of? What is this stemming from? And then you facilitate dialog between these two parts of you, and it’s interesting, because you’ll see clients like fighting themselves, and that’s what’s happening. That’s the internal dialog that’s happening every time say you would go to public speak, you’re having this fight, and I’m getting to witness it and facilitate, obviously, the Gestalt, what we call it, like bringing it into oneness, where it’s like, okay, well, what can you do to help this part feel more safe, so that it can show up how it needs to. And part, what do you need in order to feel safe, helping so and so achieve their ultimate goal? Right?

Manon Bolliger  08:54

Mm, hmm, right. So how, when people choose to do hypnotherapy, do you think that there’s a lot of belief systems about it that make people hesitate to do it. Or have you had to deal with a lot of misconceptions about it?

Jennifer Neville  09:19

Definitely a lot of misconceptions. I think people see horror movies like Get Out and think that, you know, they’re not going to be in control. But the reality is, is like, if you’re booking a hypnotherapy session, that’s the first step of, you want to get better. You want to, you know, a lot of, there’s a lot of stop smoking clients, people who want to stop smoking, and there’s a part of you that wants to get better. There’s also a part of you that wants to continue smoking, probably, and then that’s that internal battle. But normally, by the time people have booked the hypnotherapy, they’re open to it. But yeah, you get. All types of people. You get people who are skeptical. You get people who are like, super esoteric and want to go to past lives and things like that. So it’s a wide spectrum, but the way that they train us, which I really liked this, it was from this perspective of you show up, you don’t show up to somebody’s sandbox with your tools, you show up to their sandbox, and you have to learn how to use their tools. So that’s part of like the even before you take a person into ypnosis, you are finding out, like, what is your higher perspective? What is your you know…what’s your relationship to higher perspective and really getting to know who they are, so that you are able to communicate them in their in their voice. You know?

Manon Bolliger  11:01

Yeah, no, I see that. I mean, it’s important, because otherwise, you’re at two different pages, right? That’d be, yeah, the it’s, I think it’s really important that the hypnotherapist be flexible to use the language of the client. Now, as far as languaging, in that sense, if a person brings and again, you don’t have to agree, of course, right? In fact, please say so if you don’t. I get to learn more stuff, but so let’s say you have an inner conflict, right? You go back to the stage talking or something, right? I was reading that you had quite a success with weight loss, but there’s a big epidemic of that.

Jennifer Neville  11:52

Yes.

Manon Bolliger  11:54

So you have one part of you that clearly wants to lose weight, for example. And I mean, there’s a whole bunch of misconceptions about it and false things about it, and false hopes and the magic pills that don’t work and things like that, right? So there’s a lot of like, what I would call rational, intellectual stuff you gotta, you know, there’s a certain amount of truth that must be surfaced, right? Like, if you’re totally toxic and you want to lose weight, good luck, right? Like, so, you have to have a strategy that makes sense on some level, right? I think that the inner part where, if there’s like, a sugar addiction, or where those are obvious, evident, self sabotages, right?

Jennifer Neville  12:42

Yes, yes

Manon Bolliger  12:44

Sure that I can understand how a conflict like that you want to go what, you know, what did the what did the sugar do? Was it a soother? When did you get it? Or young and, you know, is there a story or a feeling attached to it. Is this how you get you know, how you feel looked after, etc. So you’re again breaking belief systems and and such, right? Yes, but a lot of that, as far as I look at it, I can see it rationally, like they can…it’s like this discussion is not under hypnotherapy, yeah. Why is it that it’s under hypnotherapy that you see changes?

Jennifer Neville  13:38

So I think because one, and especially when we’re talking about weight loss, because that’s something, again, I’m very passionate about helping people with, just because the weight loss is sort of, it’s a disguise for all of the emotions that are stored in the body. And I think in you know that’s what’s happening, is trauma gets stuck in the body. Emotions get stuck in the body. It’s a lack of processing. Because, again, we’re sort of emotional eat. A lot of people struggle with, like, emotional eating, eating, our feelings. You hear all these things, and it’s definitely true. So when you’re under hypnosis, and you don’t always, like, I don’t always have to take my clients into hypnosis with the method that I use, um, I’ve kind of simplified it, and I just immediately getting get them into that feeling state, then I don’t even have to take them under because once you access the emotions, you’re there, you’re that child again, right? You’re, you’re that part of you. Because even the parts of you, they’re normally her inner child, or it’s taking you back to these feelings when you bear it, break it down to like the bear bones of what am I feeling, and how do these feelings make? What do I believe about myself because of these feelings? You are in your body. You’re in the feeling state. You’re back in that memory. And it’s so easy to get somebody Okay, what does this remind you of? What does this remind you of? A memory from childhood, a relationship from childhood, and they’re there. But I think some people struggle to get to that place, and that’s when it comes in handy having, like the induction techniques, to have somebody who’s maybe more repressed, access that that stored emotion.

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Manon Bolliger  16:54

Okay, I think that’s really well explained, yeah. Because I’ve tried, of course, I’ve done hypnotherapy, you know, as a doctor in the past I have to say. I’ve, you know, I’ve tried so many different things to see, yeah, what would be a good referral for people? But that was a bit my conclusion is that if you can connect to the feeling state, actual emotion. And can realize, oh, my God, I was like this when I was five, or, whatever happened, you’ve kind of done the process. I mean, in a sense, you have to, you know, see the child, and love it, and, you know, whatever, and understand that it did the best it could, and all the you know what, what’s normally done, so that you bring it up to speed and go, Hey, now you two are friends and you’re one, actually.

Jennifer Neville  17:51

Yeah. And having them communicate with that inner child is always so powerful. And it’s obviously, you know, not to sound like crazy, but when I have my clients and they’ll start crying, and they’re like, Oh no, I’m going to start crying. I’m so sorry. And I’m like, No, this is making me so happy. Like, you’re having a release, you know, like, that’s so good. I want you to cry.

Manon Bolliger  18:19

Yeah, yeah. Well, it’s very different than, you know, I think in our society, there’s a lot of victimhood, and then the crying is more like the complaining of this happened for me, they this happened to me. They did it to me. You know, when you kind of go from the position of radical responsibility, then you’re, you’re in another state of mind, right? You know you’re not going to have that. It’s going to be a release cry. It’s a true healing cry. It’s not a victim cry.

Jennifer Neville  18:59

Yeah.

Manon Bolliger  19:00

As long as you’re in the victim, you’ve created the story. You believe the story more than the emotion.

Jennifer Neville  19:07

Yes.

Manon Bolliger  19:08

Right? You don’t want the emotion exactly, so you cover it with a well narrated story. That’s kind of how propaganda works.

Jennifer Neville  19:16

Yes, yes.

Manon Bolliger  19:18

So if you’re once you let go of if you take, you know, how am I…in which way am I responsible for this discussion? It’s like emotions can really come, you know, at least that’s how I’ve seen it in Yeah, you’re into it.

Jennifer Neville  19:40

Well, and once they have this realization of, okay, this initial thing happened when I was young and a child, and perhaps I was a victim to this circumstance, but then I think the bigger realization comes when they realize like, oh, but I’ve been perpetuating this with myself, right? I’ve been doing it to myself. It happened that one time, but I’ve continued the cycle. And I think that’s when people have that big shift and that breakthrough, when they can expose that, that story that they’ve been telling themselves.

Manon Bolliger  20:16

Yes, yeah, no, that totally makes sense. Yeah, because that’s what we do. We carry it on, right? Rght, yeah. So how much do you think, um, consciousness plays into the healing process?

Jennifer Neville  20:36

So I know that they teach us in hypnotherapy, you know, the conscious mind needs to be present for all the subconscious work. Because I know a lot of people are like, Oh, it’s okay if you fall asleep, and we really do a lot of testing to make sure that you’re not asleep, because your conscious mind needs to be aware of what’s happening. And it’s like teamwork, you know. But I think consciousness, like I just see it as that’s kind of that part of us that wants the change. But then there’s that subconscious that’s more it runs on auto programming, right? And it’s really hard to override that programming. So that’s what we’re striving for, is how to, how to at least be aware of our base programming, I guess, and that’s what happened to us in childhood. And it’s not saying like, we can override the coding by at least realizing, like, that fight or flight response when it kicks in, what triggers it and how to say like, this isn’t real. This isn’t happening, and keep systems moving forward, you know, not revert back to that old programming.

Manon Bolliger  21:59

Yeah, and I think too, it helps when people understand that the subconscious, it’s really…its job is to keep you safe, whatever that was. So in childhood, you know, you probably did exactly what was the safest thing for you to do. But then it’s not necessarily the behavior that is correct for an adult.

Jennifer Neville  22:23

Yes,Yes, exactly.

Manon Bolliger  22:25

You know. So it’s like, that’s where I could see the bridge between the subconscious as being automatic safety, you know, yeah, not there to experience a brand new life or no, it’s there to repeat, you know, the this is how, this is what works. This is, you know, be quiet, and whatever the story was.

Jennifer Neville  22:46

And it requires a lot of conditioning, you know, to make those changes, which is where, like, our conscious mind comes into play, and, and, yeah, just kind of recognizing what that default programming is, what is that? You know, it’s how we you call it self sabotage, right? But that’s our default programming, whatever it’s reverting back to. The more that we can build awareness of that, the more we can like combat it, you know.

Manon Bolliger  23:18

And how important do you think the other way, rather than reverting back, is to positively set up, you know, whether it’s systems, trainings new habits, how effective do you think that is?

Jennifer Neville  23:37

I think it’s very effective. I think the subconscious response to repetition and conditioning, so the more you repeat the actions, and that’s where kind of, the Conscious Discipline comes in of having some kind of discipline or routine, whether it’s listening to affirmations or, you know, doing some kind of action, or forming some kind of habit and really beating that into yourself. That is something that I learned from my professional golf days or being a golfer. It was everything was repetition. It wasn’t about practice makes perfect. It was about practice breeds confidence, because then when you’re under those high pressure situations, I always knew what my faults were. I always knew what was if, if I started getting like I knew what my misses were, right? So when I’d be under pressure, those misses would start presenting themselves more, but I was aware of it, and so a lot of my practice was in an attempt to, like, not fall into that, or when those high pressure situations come, I feel confident enough to not revert back to those misses, and even if I do revert back to those misses, having like a plan to get myself out of it, even if it’s playing to the misses, you know, and it’s the same thing. I think, with any goal, you’re trying to achieve repetition and just conditioning.

Manon Bolliger  25:22

So what’s without names and all that, obviously, but can you share someone you’ve been able to help that either was really meaningful, totally surprising to you, or, yeah, I don’t know you know that just made your day and made you love what you do.

Jennifer Neville  25:44

I’ve had so many people that I’ve helped you know, I’ve helped people work through very deep trauma. And at first that was something that I knew. I knew working in what I work in, that that was going to come up, things like that was going to come up, and that scared me, but once I started helping clients through that, it was this really beautiful experience, and I learned so much too about the mind and the universe and forgiveness through witnessing and holding space for people. But, you know, I’ve gotten to work with people on especially with the weight loss, it’s been like a big thing where you’re focused more on the body, and there might be physical pain in the body that you focus on that physical pain, and it ends up being this stored memory, this like very repressed memory, and once they clear that and release that, and then I get those messages talking about how they don’t feel the pain anymore. Those are really rewarding, I think, to help, to help somebody process something that they’ve been avoiding for so long, you know, so long that it turned into a physical ailment.

Manon Bolliger  27:10

And if you, one more question, and then I’ll leave you with the final words, but can a person go to hypnotherapy doing that. Is it like the appropriate thing when they have zero idea, but they have a something that they just can’t shake, you know? Like it could be a physical ailment, you know, they can’t shake, or it could be an emotional state that they can’t shake, you know, like, you know, common ones these days are like regret, you know, or feeling, what’s the word betrayed?

Jennifer Neville  27:57

Yeah.

Manon Bolliger  27:57

A lot of people are complaining about that. So how would you address that? Like, what’s it? And again, I’m sure it’s different, but and they, they’ve never done it, they don’t know, you know, and you and they believe that it could work. So not all the misconceptions. How would you approach that?

Jennifer Neville  28:22

Well, for starters, I just want to clarify that if anybody comes to me with like, serious mental health concerns, there is they do part of like being a clinical hypnotherapist, you have to be signed off by a psychiatrist, like a doctor has to basically offer have a letter of recommendation for that client. But utilizing things like betrayal, I help a lot of people in love and relationships, working on releasing from breakups or trauma from that and I think hypnotherapy, like I said, it helps, and obviously, depending on the severity and tandem with other other, you know, therapies can help you a lot. I think that it helps you connect with yourself. And I do think that, especially if we’re talking about relationships or anything that you’re experiencing externally, and once you bring this awareness to it really is you, you’re creating all of this, and then you can get to the root of, why am I so affected by this? Because ultimately, and if people could grasp this, you know, because we get sucked into this world and everything that’s happening to it and the news and the propaganda, like you said, we’re sucked into it all the time, and it makes us feel powerless and hopeless, and like we want to change it, but there’s nothing that we can do. How do we get mass amounts of people to change? And hypnotherapy, or even doing this mindset work, I think, helps people realize the first thing I have to do is get myself to a place where I’m not triggered or reacting to this. So that’s helping you come to the root of why. Why does this thing that I’m seeing in my reality make me so upset? And if I can find that peace within myself, then that what’s happening external to me isn’t going to have such a effect on me anymore, you know.

Manon Bolliger  30:45

Yeah, makes sense, yeah. Okay, well, you know what? That’s our time already. Last few words, maybe where people could reach you, or how do you work, or website or information that you want to share?

Jennifer Neville  31:00

Yes, my Instagram is JenniferNNeville, and my website is www.livezenwithjen.com. If you’re interested in coaching or anything of that sort, or just following me online and hearing what I have to say, then be sure to check those out. And again, thank you so much for having me.

Manon Bolliger  31:20

Okay, well, thank you for sharing your knowledge.

Ending

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